Soap Winners Announced

I was going to pair this with another post and then (as you can see) I decided not to do that. Instead this will be a quick post to announce who gets the soap I mentioned in my last wedding post. And guess what?

YOU'RE ALL WINNERS!

And not in a figurative way, like "Oh well you know me so OF COURSE you're a winner no matter what." But I figure you all rule and I have a bunch of soap so everyone who asked for it, YOU GET SOME SOAP!

Emily, Kayleigh, Alice, Nahree, and Laura email me your addresses (or wherever you want me to send the package [whatredread [at] gmail [dot] com]) and I will get you your soap! And then you can pretend that you were at the wedding as well!

Wedding Update II: The ceremony and reception

You know how last week I wrote that post with the first part of the wedding stuff? And I said there'd be a part two that went over the ceremony and reception (you know, the actual wedding)? I bet you thought it'd be another month before that post went up. You're not alone, I thought it as well. But here we are, being super productive/avoiding chores by writing this instead. HOORAY.

I left off the last post after we did our first reveal and took all of the posed pictures. Now it was time for a rehearsal. Because yeah, we hadn't done one of those yet. I mean, really, how necessary is a whole rehearsal dinner the night before? We're all pretty smart people so we figured we can figure out how to walk in a straight line, stop when you get to the end (which was a wall so not a whole lot of other options) and then stand to one side. After the ceremony is over, you just walk back the way you came. See, simple?

Given the way I set that up, I bet you're thinking that something crazy happened and I'm trying to say we should have totally had a rehearsal the night before. Nope, things went fine because it was exactly as simple as I just described. Of course, it was so simple because the venue had 2 people that worked with us to make sure everything went smoothly and on time. Seriously, those 2 were LIFE SAVERS and I'm sure we would have needed several rehearsals if they weren't there to say "OK, you walk now, and then go there." And I'm super excited that their services were included in the normal price of the venue cos if they cost extra I know we wouldn't have paid the money for it and things wouldn't have been quite so stress free. They ruled.

The biggest "drama" at the rehearsal was that the officiant wasn't there. I think some people were waiting for me to freak out at this. I mean, if there's no officiant then the ceremony can't really happen, right? I wasn't too worried.

See, we originally wanted a family friend to officiate the wedding. She's a federal judge so we thought this wouldn't be an issue by NY state had other options and said only NY judges can perform weddings. Cos they're jerks. BUT we decided that she and the priest would co-officiate. So say the priest didn't show for whatever reason? OK, so the ceremony wouldn't be legally binding, but we'd still have someone to get up there and say something and whatever. We go to town hall or something for the legal wedding later. See, there are plan Bs.

We didn't need plan B though cos the priest was there hanging out in the lobby of the venue (we were outside in a different area rehearsing cos people were sitting in the ceremony area) so again, see? No need for stress.

Now, it's time for THE MAIN EVENT!

Everyone managed to walk down the aisle without getting lost or tripping or anything. The tripping was a real concern for me but it's cool, I had already told my maid of honor that if I fall she is to throw herself down in a super dramatic fashion so as to help take the embarrassment off me. I was talking to her about this as we were waiting in line to walk in and the best man agreed he would also make a big scene so DON'T WORRY. I love our friends.

Here's the thing about the ceremony. I already told you we didn't have a rehearsal to know where to walk and all that jazz. We also didn't really know what was going to be said. I'd emailed with the officiant/priest a few times where he sent me an outline of a normal ceremony, Tom and I picked out the things to take out, we picked a reading (Shakespeare's sonnet 116), and that was that. And we'd talked to Joy (the family friend) about how Tom and I met, our relationship, etc. The priest was going to say more of the traditional stuff, Joy told the story of how we met and how we got to this point, good times.

There was more religion in the ceremony than I thought there would be but then again, it was a Catholic priest so guess I'm not super surprised. Nor was I upset or offended or annoyed or anything. I didn't know it would be happening but the whole thing was so pretty. And we kept it to under 30 minutes. #priorities

I looooved our venue. This room was a big reason I wanted this place. It looks like you're in a garden. One wall has fake windows, the other is covered in mirrors and windows, and the ceiling looks like a greenhouse. You get the appearance of being outside with all of the benefits of air conditioning, which is just terrific. There was the option to have the ceremony outside and the venue seemed so surprised that we just wanted to do the whole thing inside. I'm sure part of that is because the ceremony and reception happened in the same place otherwise, so if we did it outside, they had more time to get the reception room ready.

After the ceremony it was back up to the bridal suite so we could sign the marriage license. And get some food. Food is important. Everyone else was at the cocktail hour which had SO MUCH FOOD. The bridal attendant brought us plates of everything down there (see how great they are) while we waited. There was some miscommunication between the priest and whoever told the priest where to go. He thought he was supposed to wait downstairs, we thought we were supposed to wait upstairs so it was about 20 minutes before things got figured out, he came upstairs to sign things, Michelle (MoH) and Mike (BM) signed as witnesses and then we could all go down to cocktail hour! Except for Tom and I.

We were juuuuuuust about to walk into the cocktail hour when the photographer came up to Tom and I and said now that the sun was down* we could take some night time shots. Our options were take them now and miss cocktail hour, take them after the reception starts (which our DJ said he FORBADE and not to be a dick or anything but you don't want to miss the reception) or not take the pictures. As much as we really wanted to go to cocktail hour, we decided on pictures.

Now RECEPTION TIME!!

Everything they say about the time FLYING by is absolutely true. Everything they say about you not eating is also absolutely true. We spent so much time visiting everyone and dancing that how can you even eat. We did manage dinner, or at least some of it, and small bites here and there but for the most part this was the time to actually see everyone who came to share the day with us and at no point was I annoyed I didn't get to eat. Besides, I was so amped up I wasn't all that hungry.

I also didn't drink that much because I kept getting a drink, putting it down, and then forgetting where it was. Repeat. BUT the maitre d was apparently a mind-reader cos any time I would think "I'm thirsty and could use some water" he'd pop up with it. AGAIN they ruled. So I stayed well-hydrated.

Time for a bunch of reception pictures? Of course!

And would you like to see some of our bookish details? 

Instead of a guest book, we had bookmarks for people to sign. Instead of table numbers, we named each table after a literary couple with a quote on the back**. Tom and I (and the entire bridal party and their dates) sat at the Calvin & Hobbes table.

The wedding wrapped up at 1:30, perhaps 2 by the time everyone cleared out and we headed next door to the hotel for sleep. Except as we walked in we noticed the bar that they TOLD US would be shut down by 2 was wide opened and packed with 2 other weddings plus several people from our own. OK, admittedly it was mostly my family that was at the bar because that's how we do. Tom and I made it till 3:30-ish before the adrenaline started to wear and it was time for sleep. Others stayed up and I believe my dad and stepmom won the night, making it to their room by roughly 5:30. Yay on us.

All-in-all there is nothing I would have changed about the night. It was everything I could have wanted. And even though up to and including the morning of the wedding I was thinking "Ugh, we should have just eloped" the day itself honestly made it all worth it. Good job those that convinced us this was the way to go.

MUSIC CHOICES

I know some people had questions about the music we chose for the ceremony, first dance, etc. I won't keep you in suspense any longer:

Ceremony

Everyone-except-the-bride entrance song: Chase This Light by Vitamin String Quartet (original Jimmy Eat World)

Now-the-bride-comes-in song: In My Place by Vitamin String Quartet (original by Coldplay)

Ceremony-is-over-time-to-walk-out song: Today by Vitamin String Quartet (original by Smashing Pumpkins)

Reception

Another-entrance-song: Still Into You by Paramour 

First dance (we danced the first minute just us, then everyone joined in): When It's Time by Green Day

Father/Daughter dance: Daughters by John Mayer

Grandson/Grandmother dance: Gracias Por Ser Mi Mama

Cake cutting (did you know you need to pick a song for that?): Everything by Michael Buble

Most of the thought went into the first 5 songs and the last 3 were sort of "shit we need to come up with something for then too? Umm how 'bout this?" We were also preeeeetty proud of the first dance song choice because it's a really pretty song and also NO ONE could guess it. I guess it helps that it's a song that was only released on the soundtrack to the American Idiot broadway play (which we saw twice so, fans).

GIVEAWAY TIME!

So one of my bridesmaids is super handy/crafty/talented (she who broke and sewed in a new zipper) made the favor for the wedding. She makes soap and always gives it out on Xmas and it's THE BEST. So when Michelle suggested she make soap for the wedding favor she was all for it. Doubly lucky, my dad and stepmom own a fragrance company so Lauren made the soap, they provided the fragrance and they turned out beautifully. You want in on this? Just mention it in the comments and I'll randomly pick...probably a few names (I have a LOT of soap left) and send you your very own favor.

*We had kind of a late wedding. The ceremony started at 8. Cocktail hour from 8:30-9:30. Reception was 9:30-1:30 with dinner roughly at 10, father/daughter & groom/grandmother dances & cake cutting around 12:00.
**Want a list of all of the tables? Sure you do
Calvin & Hobbes from Calvin & Hobbes by Bill Watterson: Happiness isn't good enough for me. I demand euphoria! and It's a magical world Hobbes ol' buddy. Let's go exploring! (Since there were 18 of us at the head table we had 2 signs. Same couple, 2 different quotes.)
Eleanor & Park from Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell: She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.
Thursday Next & Landen Parke-Laine from the Thursday Next series by Jasper Fforde: The vicar shrugged. This was fast becoming the most ludicrous wedding of his career.
Lizzie Bennet & Mr. Darcy from Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen: You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.
Sherlock Holmes & Irene Adler from "A Scandal in Bohemia" by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle: To Sherlock Holmes she is always the woman. I have seldom heard him mention her under any other name. In his eyes she eclipses and predominates the whole of her sex.
Ron & Hermione from the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling: "Hermione, you are honestly the most wonderful person I've ever met," said Ron weakly, "and if I'm ever rude to you again-" "-I'll know you're back to normal," said Hermione.
Jonathan & Arabella from Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell by Susanna Clarke: Sometimes it seemed as if she had fallen in love with him for the sole purpose of quarreling with him.
Beatrice & Benedick from Much Ado About Nothing by Shakespeare: For which of my bad parts didst thou first fall in love with me?
Odysseus & Penelope from The Odyssey by Homer: Stranger, my beauty went forfeit to the Gods the day my Husband sailed with the Argives, for Troy. Should he return, to cherish me, my fortune and favour would improve.
Westley & Buttercup from The Princess Bride by William Goldman: As you wish.

Wedding Update: I Got Married (with photographic evidence), part 1

Remember (over) a month ago when I got married? And remember how I promised a wedding post? But I was waiting to get the photos because I know that's the part everyone is more excited to see? GUESS WHAT? We got the photos and I even managed to scan them in* so LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!

To keep you in suspense/pad this so I can get 2 posts out of the topic, this one will focus on the whole getting ready and first pictures bit.

The morning of the wedding was fairly relaxed. We didn't do the whole "Don't see each other" deal and just stayed at our house. Along with the best man, his wife, and the maid of honor. Full house.
Maid of honor (Michelle, I'm giving names cos there are going to be a lot of people and describing each of them is going to take way too long) and I had to be at the hotel to get ready around noon so Tom was going to drop us off before he and and his wedding party people headed to the driving range.

We had the wedding and ceremony all in one place which was awesome because that meant I didn't have to work out any transportation. The venue is next door to (and affiliated with) a hotel and we got a room for Tom and I included. Unfortunately, we couldn't get into that room until 3. Fortunately my mom was staying in the hotel Thursday night so we could get ready in her room. Tom and his crew got to get ready in ours and I'm glad I didn't see the room until that night cos maaaaaan his room was nicer than ours. He totally had the prettier getting-ready room.

I hired someone to do hair and makeup because while I'm decent at doing my own makeup, my entire repetoire of hairstyles consists of "down" or "in a ponytail" or "in a bun that's going to fall down in 30 minutes". Professional help was needed. We also decided to have them come to us even though it was slightly more expensive because lazy. And also this way we don't have to worry about getting anywhere late cos HEY we're already there.

It was all very relaxed. Various family members filtered through the room. I only had 3 bridesmaids and only 2 of them were there getting ready (the third wouldn't get there till later) so we hung around watching Four Weddings and just generally hanging out. People kept commenting on how calm things were but I wasn't nervous to marry Tom. We'd already been together roughly 11,000 years (or like 9+) and bought a house together, so the whole "spending my life with this person" thing isn't really a big leap. That's not to say I wasn't nervous, but it had more to do with "falling on my ass" which is a pretty common worry of mine and I'm not normally in a gown and heels.

One of my bridesmaids (Lauren) did have an incident that could have resulted in a lot of stress if it a) hadn't happened the day before and b) if she wasn't such a kick-ass problem solver. So, the day before the wedding she was trying on the bridesmaids dress and...the zipper got stuck. And then after her boyfriend tried and tried (and tried) to get the zipper to move, it broke. She called around to a bunch of David's Bridals trying to see if any of them had the dress in her size and color but no dice. Her boyfriend told her she should let me know what happened but NO, she didn't want to stress me out. So she bought a whole bunch of zippers, figured out which one would work best, and then sewed it into the dress. So instead of being a severe source of stress I ended up laughing hysterically while she told me this story.

When it was my turn to get my hair done I said I didn't want anything with curls (I had done a trial elsewhere and while the hair looked really nice I decided curls aren't my thing) and I wanted to sort of a messy bun, but done pretty. She started with that and said "Yeah, this isn't going to work. Your hair. You have...too much of it" which I wasn't surprised about. Hell, when I did the trial she asked me if I'd be willing to cut any hair to make the style work better. And I chopped off 6 inches before the wedding. I just have a lot of hair which is awesome 98% of the time and also the reason I know so few hairstyles. Anything beyond those requires multiple bottles of hairspray and roughly a metric ton of bobby pins. Which was what was used to do the "much less messy but still unfussy" bun we went with.

After that it was makeup time. I described how I did my eyes before (neutral colors but enough so it shows up and looks pretty in pictures) and as for the lips I told her "I have no more lip stick or gloss or anything, so let's go with something that's going to look fine when it all wipes off in an hour and I don't reapply anything." And she was totally for it and everything was pretty. YAY.

Now my makeup is done, my hair is done, the veil is in and...I'm in shorts and a button down shirt waiting for the photographer. The third bridesmaid (Holly) made it and they were all dressed but I was told to wait so he could get the getting-ready pictures. Which meant I spent a bunch of time pretending to be a super hero with my cape hanging out of my hair instead of off my shoulders. Because I'm an adult.

Then the photographer showed up and it was time! (Meaning you get to see pictures!)

Here I am all fancy on the head and just...no where else. My mom and I were trying to pull all of the paper out of the dress (there was a LOT) and also get it hung up over the bed for pictures. In addition, I was trying to not step on the veil. I failed. Several times. As did everyone else.

Eventually it was time to get the dress on, which I swear, it always seems so easy in theory. When I went for my second fitting I went by myself, cos the only time they had availability was right after work during the week and how many other people can I have come with me? None, that's how many. But the seamstress was like "Umm, so you're going to have someone come with you for the final one, right?" and I realized I should probably see who's available. Luckily Lauren (to the rescue again) works slightly earlier hours than 9-5 AND works in Manhattan so she was able to meet me at Kleinfeld's for the final fitting and learn how to tie the dress.

I can't remember exactly, but it's possible at this point we were talking about if the photographer would end up seeing my underwear during the getting ready pictures and me saying that jokes on them, I'm wearing bike shorts. A friend who got married a couple years ago said to get bike shorts that are made to wick away sweat and that they are a LIFE SAVER so I said "Hell yeah!" and told Tom to forget any sexy underwear that night. He just laughed and shrugged his shoulders and said whatever is comfortable.

Then everyone was dressed and we did a bunch of pictures in the room and with me trying to look relaxed on the bed but ha HA this dress, while very pretty, does not allow for a lot of "relaxed lounging. It does, however, have a kick ass flower on the ass which was a big reason I liked this dress.

That lacing looks so simple, doesn't it?

When it came to the dress, I originally didn't want anything satin. But hey, look what I went with! It was just so pretty and fit me perfectly. I have to hand it to Kleinfeld's. Everyone there knows what they're doing when it comes to dresses. Oh, you want to see a picture from when I first picked out the dress, cos I couldn't share that before lest someone (Tom, it's Tom) see the dress before the wedding?

I look super tall in this picture but that's only because I'm in heels and on a pedestal. And the dress is still sort of pooling on the ground. It's a Pnina Tornai and they SAID they thought maybe they priced it wrong cos usually her stuff is way more and I feel like this is a selling technique but I ALSO really liked the dress and it was in budget, regardless of the reason so whatever.

Back to the wedding day.

We take some staged photos of me with each of the girls and with my mom, some of just me** and then it was FIRST LOOK time.

See, Tom and I didn't want to wait until the ceremony to see each other. Mostly because we wanted to make it to as much of the reception festivities as possible and we can't do that if we have to take all of the family photos then. So we decided we'll do all this stuff before the ceremony.

Tom's waiting in the hotel lobby and I'm supposed to walk down the stairs and tap him on the shoulder. I totally almost wipe out walking down the stairs because OF COURSE I DO. But I held it together. All of the family was there as well, which we said is what would happen but I forgot that there'd be a zillion people there. A bunch of people (not the photographer) were telling me to slow down so they could get pictures but I was just thinking "But but Tom is RIGHT THERE so yeah, I'm just gonna hurry on down." And I did. And it was awesome.

I feel bad for anyone at the hotel who WASN'T part of our wedding cos yeah, the lobby was pretty much out of commission at this point. Sorry, other guests. But we didn't take too long and then it was off to the venue for 4000 family photos.

The place was right next door so we just had to walk there. I was, however, still getting used to moving around in a dress that weighs way more than my normal t-shirt and jeans.

This was my "I think someone is stepping on me.  Yup, yup, definitely getting stepped on." face.

I won't bore you with all of those photos (again, see Facebook note below) but here are some fun ones

Me and the bridesmaids

Best man & maid of honor

The whole party

Just the 2 of us

EVERYONE WAS SO PRETTY. Tom had 5 people on his side, cos he's more popular than me. (When I told Tom this he smiled and said "Yeah, I am.") Four groomsmen and one groomswoman. In case you're wondering who the other lady is in the pic.

I think I've gone on long enough for now. Next time will be even longer, since that will cover both the ceremony and the reception. It will also involve a lot more pictures. And then there will be a couple honeymoon posts. Oh man, I bet I can milk this through the end of the year...

Till next time!

*We're getting a CD with all of the photos once our order is complete. Right now we just have the proofs and we have to pick out images for the albums, prints, etc. Hence all the scanning. You know, like an animal.
**I won't bore you with all of those here but I'll probably be putting a whole bunch up on Facebook cos that's pretty much what that is for, right? Plus I LOVE when people put up wedding photos because I never remember to take pictures at people's wedding, so I always just grab the professional ones.

I'M GETTING MARRIED TODAY

I really have nothing else to add to this post. It is mostly an excuse to use this gif.

OH, and I talked to The-Artist-Formally-Known-As-Boyfriend+ to try to figure out what I should call him after today. And while there were some good options (he was particularly into the various Dean Cain/Clark Kent options, thank you Kayleigh) but we decided to just go with his actual name. He figured I've already put his picture up here AND a few of you have met him so why not just use his name?

Everyone, meet Tom! Or if you want something jazzier a friend of calls him "Eduardo Magnifico".  But yeah, here I'll be using Tom since it's quicker to type.

I promise (eventually) to post pictures from the wedding. And get to the second West Coast travel post, L.A. edition. and post some book reviews...

Wedding Update: Names

This isn't a real post. This is a "I don't have a real post and things are busy so I likely won't have a real post but I want to post something post". That said, I do actually have something I'm trying to figure out. What the hell do I call Boyfriend+ here after Friday?

I was talking to some friends and mentioned how I call Boyfriend+ "Boyfriend+" (or B+) here and how that's way better than fiance. But what do I call him next? I'm not a fan of "husband" or the various nicknames there. Hubby? No. What to do? So I need your help. What should I call him?

We brainstormed a few options, although I'm not crazy about any of them

Boyfriend: The Next Generation: BTNG for short. Except neither of us are Star Trek fans. Or have really watched the show. So.
Boyfriend 2.0
The Greatest Person Ever: B+'s suggestion
Slagathor: My suggestion after his suggestion

So yeah, we need some help. I need some help. He doesn't care that much, which means the odds are tipping towards "Slagathor".

Sunday Wedding Post: The Final

You guys, this is it. The last wedding post. Well at least the last Sunday post. Because this is the last Sunday before the wedding.

Whaaa? I know! Crazy.

Boyfriend+'s best man and his new wife (and reason for our west coast jaunt) are here this weekend for bachelor-party related goodies, so while the boys were bachlor-party-ing, BMW (best man's wife) went into NYC to pick up my dress!

I had my final fitting this past Tuesday. One of my bridesmaids came with me to learn how to tie and bustle it which really didn't look that hard but I guess the wedding day will show if the lesson was necessary. So now the only thing left was to go over the dress with a seamstress (to make sure it's actually my dress and no one spilled paint on it or anything I guess) and then take it home. Well, I didn't take it home. My mom and her boyfriend very nicely drove into the city so they could take the dress back to my mom's.

Today my bridesmaid (she who learned the dress tying) is coming by and we're going to set up an assembly line to finish the favors. And eat bagels because important stuff.

Then it's just a few more things. Bringing stuff to the venue for set up. Bringing stuff to the florist. Paying everyone (blaaaaaaah). Then just a few more days of CRAAAAAZY work (hooray quarter close) before I am off and it's time to relax a bit before the big day!!

Wedding table names: The final(ish) decision

We're getting closer to the wedding, like under 30 days closer, which seems to mean that my wedding posts are no longer happening on Sundays. Probably because weekends are now spent doing shit FOR this upcoming party and thus don't have time to write about it in time for a Sunday post. Instead I figure I'll just post wedding stuff whenever I think of it/it comes up, considering soon enough we will hit the last wedding post.

Anyway, we haven't quite gotten RSVPs from everyone yet but we've heard from most people so we put together the seating chart, which luckily didn't turn out to be too difficult. It worked out that for the most part every guest-category broke out into groups of between 9-12, which is how many people we can have at each table. The tables are going to be on the slightly more crowded side, but we figured people would rather be scrunched up with people they know versus lots of elbow room with a bunch of strangers.

Before I tell you what we finally landed on for the literary couples, I want to share with you a conversation I had with a friend the other day regarding the tables. Boyfriend+ and I met up with a couple friends and we were talking about the tables. We started trying to figure out if there were enough couples in the Harry Potter universe to cover each of the tables.

Me: Well there's Hermione and Ron...
Friend 1: Don't you mean Harry and Hermione?
Me: NEVER! HERMIONE & RON 4EVA, dammit
Friend 2: There's always Harry and Ginny but...eh
Me: Lupin and Tonks
Friend 1: Dobby and a knife.
::gasps from the table. Except Boyfriend+ who knows of the HP series::
Friend 1:...I do not care for Dobby.

So it's probably a good thing I decided I only wanted one couple per book/series. Here's the final list of literary couples + a quote from their book:

Calvin & Hobbes  from Calvin & Hobbes by Bill Watterson
Happiness isn't good enough for me. I demand euphoria!

Sherlock Holmes & Irene Adler from A Scandal in Bohemia by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
To Sherlock Holmes she is always the woman. I have seldom heard him mention her under any other name. In his eyes she eclipses and predominates the whole of her sex

Westley & Buttercup from The Princess Bride by William Goldman

As you wish

Thursday Next & Landen Parke-Laine from the Thursday Next series by Jasper Fforde

The vicar shrugged. This was fast becoming the most ludicrous wedding of his career.

Lizzie Bennet & Mr. Darcy from Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen

You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.

Eleanor & Park from Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell

She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.

Jonathan & Arabella from Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell by Susanna Clarke

Sometimes it seemed as if she had fallen in love with him for the sole purpose of quarreling with him.

Hermione & Ron from the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling

'Hermione, you are honestly the most wonderful person I've ever met,' said Ron weakly, 'and if I'm ever rude to you again -' 

'- I'll know you're back to normal,' said Hermione. 

Odysseus & Penelope from The Odyssey by Homer

Stranger, my beauty went forfeit to the Gods the day my Husband sailed with the Argives, for Troy. Should he return, to cherish me, my fortune and favor would improve.

Beatrice & Benedick from Much Ado About Nothing by Shakespeare

For which of my bad parts didst thou first fall in love with me?

If you have any suggestions for the quotes, I'm all ears. 

Wedding Post: We're getting closer

We're in countdown to wedding day now, which means my months of slacking off thinking "Eh, I should probably call some vendors about stuff" have come to an end and I have to actually do things. Last weekend was wedding party time. This has been wedding work time. But it's all fun stuff so it's cool. So, what have I been up to?

Been to the venue to finalize all the...stuff that needs finalized. Figuring out the menu (IMPORTANT!) and yes there will be multiple types of Asian food, as well as Spanish food and Italian food. ALL THE FOOD. The menu options at this venue were a big reason we went with them. But then we also had to figure out table arrangement (not seating yet. That will be a whole other adventure) as well as linen colors, when I need to bring them stuff, signature drink options, etc. The table arrangement was fun. And by that I mean, eventually we came to a solution we really liked but it took some time. Here's the distilled version of that decision, which basically took a few weeks to come up with:

Me: Do you want to do the sweetheart table thing? That's where we sit at a table all by ourselves. Cos I don't want that.
Boyfriend+: Yeah, I don't want that either. That's lame.
Me: Should we sit with the bridal party?
B+: But where will their dates sit?
Me: Nearby. They can sit at the table right next to us.
B+: OK, at the wedding I'm in, do you want to sit with the dates of everyone in the bridal party or would you rather sit with me?*
Me: ...You make a good point. OK, so we won't make the dates sit separate. But then are we back to just us by ourselves?
B+: We could split the bridal party up? Sit with some and their dates and then just near the others?
M: How do we decide who we sit with?
B+: Why do we have to decide? Can't we just sit with all of them??
M: Well, maybe. I mean, why not? Can't we just have one giant table for all of us?

The venue was a little confused with this suggestion at first but EVENTUALLY they got our plan to have all 18 of us (Boyfriend+ & I, bridal party [3 on my side, 5 on his], and their dates) sit together at one big table. So I'm pretty excited about that.

After the venue we had to go to a cake tasting! The cake is actually included as part of the package with the venue (wiiiiiiiin) so it felt like the cake was free and that was pretty sweet. (HA! puns) We look at a billion (OK, 200) pictures of cake options and tasted so much cake I was definitely on a sugar high when we left. I'll save you the suspense and tell you the cake is going to be 4 tiered vanilla cake with 2 tiers of cannoli filling and 2 tiers with custard and fresh strawberries. We stayed away from chocolate since the venue is ALSO providing a dessert of chocolate mousse and fresh berries. I'm expecting a sugar high at the wedding as well, obviously. Oh and even though we were both super full from all the cake, we decided we needed to pick up a little something from the bakery. I mean, listen, if you can hang out in an Italian bakery and NOT pick up something, kudos to you. I'd say you deserve a cookie, but really, that would defeat the purpose of this. We debated cookies but landed on a couple cannolis. Obviously.

THEN the next morning I met up with on of my bridesmaids, my mom, a good family friend, and mom's boyfriend for my first dress fitting. It's been over a year and a half since I've seen the dress so there is that worry like "Shit, I better still like this thing." I LOVE IT so phew! The fitting wasn't too nuts either. The dress fit me for the most part with the exception of a little work at the bust line. Oh and they had to hem it like 5 inches. And that's even with heels. I told the seamstress I know I'm short and she tried to reassure me the dress is just extra long. I wasn't saying I was short like "Aww this is a MAJOR FAULT I MUST TRY AND LIVE WITH" but more of a "I shop in the petite section so this is not a new situation I am facing," but given the major defensive they went on when they told me they were going to order 1 size up from the sample I tried on**, I have a feeling they're dealing with a lot of insecureness.

I am super excited about the dress. I can't share pictures with you until after the wedding (SORRY) but yeah, I am looooving it. I am going to have kick ass posture throughout the wedding cos boning does not abide slouching. It does abide making my waist look awesome. So that's exciting. And once the dress was all pinned up I could actually walk in it. Well I could sort of walk in it. I assume walking will be even better when every step doesn't stab straight pins into my legs and feet.

So that's where wedding things stand right now. I'm sure I'll have a bunch to write about next week cos it seems there's always stuff going on at this point.

*I feel I should clarify here that at the recent wedding Boyfriend+ was in, the bride & groom, along with best woman & maid of honor (and their dates) sat at one table. So I did get to sit with B+ during the wedding.
**When they measured me for the dress, they said they thought the sample fit me but recommended going up a size since the sample is stretched out a bit and it's easier to take in. They immediately followed this by saying "Oh don't worry, it's just cos the new one is loose and really, this size could work for you, but we just really need to make 100% sure." My reaction to their defensiveness was a blank stare followed by "You guys are the experts so whatever you say. I really don't care what size this thing says it is." Which I am proving by having no idea as to the size. 10 maybe? Whatever sizes bridal samples typically are, one size up from that.

Busy wedding weekend. Hence the Sunday wedding post on a Monday

I realize I normally post my (few and far between) wedding updates on Sunday, which I do cos I figure I'll keep my non-book updates on the weekend. But my normal plan of writing a wedding update on Sunday plus a normal review for the week went out the window. So this is going up now. Take that, arbitrary blogging rules I made up myself.

There has a been a bunch of wedding stuff happening, since the day is coming soon. It looks like last time I wrote a wedding post was in March when Boyfriend+ and I were discussing the couples for the table names. Since that time we've come up with a list of couples, sent out invites, gotten a bunch of responses and thank you, responsible friends and family for getting back so quickly. Can I tell you how important spreadsheets have been during all of this? Because I have roughly a billion of them to help me keep track of who we've invited, who we've heard back from, who I'm going to have to yell at, etc.

AND this weekend I did a bunch of bridal stuff. Namely my bachelorette and bridal shower. Because OF COURSE I did them back to back. Isn't that how you do it?

Actually the reason for this, as I've mentioned before, is my maid of honor lives in Ireland which is a bit far from NY. Which means I'm working with when she is stateside. She is super popular and actually has several weddings to go to (including a few she's in) so I'm not the only one taking up all of her vacation time. I got a couple days to hang out with her before the festivities began.

The bachelorette activities were a surprise for me, which meant I spent a fair amount of the time leading up to Friday quizzing my MoH what she was planning and oh man, there better not be strippers and please don't make me do something embarrassing and I think I'm just going to hide under my covers, kthxbai. BUT because she isn't a terrible person (quite the opposite), she and my other friend planned a super fun night including an "Appetite for Seduction" cooking class then drinking and dancing. Well additional drinking on top of the wine at the cooking class. We also got this amazing hotel room that was huge and including an outdoor patio so after dancing the few of us left hung out drinking champagne until we realized we REALLY needed to sleep considering the whole "we have to get up to get back out to Long Island for the bridal shower in a few hours."

The bridal shower was happening at my house cos I figured if I'm going to be hungover and tired during a party, I may as well be all of that at my own house and worst come to worst I can have people mingle around me while I curl up on the couch. I was alive enough that I didn't have to hibernate until after everyone left. AND another one of my friends catered the event (after being out all night for the bachelorette because she is a trooper and also I don't know how she managed it) which was awesome and the food was delicious. Is delicious, since I still have a bunch in my fridge. Which means I also have meals for the rest of the week.

My poor MoH left the bridal shower to immediately go to ANOTHER wedding. Because while my weekend may have been busy it was NOTHING compared to hers. But my weekend wasn't done yet.

As most of you probably know, BEA just ended. Because of the above activities I didn't get a chance to meet up with many people, but Alice was still around (YAAY) so Boyfriend+ and I met up with her for burgers and milkshakes and a walk around Central Park while we tried to avoid the parade. Good times, of course. Have I mentioned how much I love book blogging and the people I've met through this thing?

The house is still a mess, there are deflated balloons all around and wrapping paper that yes, should be in the garbage but I haven't made it that far yet. The gifts that we got we've decided to just put them in the spare room and we'll figure out where to fit them later. When we're not so tired. I really wanted to finish the 20 Minutes book before today so I could count it towards my May stats, but that didn't happen. I also didn't write that May stats post but this was more important.

So that's where wedding things stand so far. I'm hoping to make these posts more regular, up until the wedding at least. For awhile there really wasn't much to say about wedding planning since you sort of book your vendors and then you have to wait until it gets closer to celebration time before you can do anything else. But now we're close enough that things are happening, and thus there are things to write about.

THANK YOU to all of my friends who planned the parties and came to celebrate. I had the best time and I'm ready for a LOT of sleep. Which I'm sure I'll manage to get. Eventually. Maybe after the wedding.

Wedding Update: Table Names Discussion

It was almost a year ago to the day that I asked you for help coming up with literary couples for table names. First, having a long engagement and thus a long time to plan the wedding is great. Much more relaxing than a rushed deal, if TV depictions of wedding planning can be believed.

Second, as we're now coming closer to the wedding I was narrowing down the list to come up with the ones we'll use and start figuring out the important details. Like which table Boyfriend+ and I will be sitting at. I showed Boyfriend+ the list of names and he wasn't happy. He doesn't know most of these couples, why would he want to sit at their tables. Actually he said he knew NONE of the couples, except for the fact that that was a lie, but he was making a point. I guess. So we tried to come up with a few other couples. Here's roughly how that convo went

B+: I don't know, like, any of these couples. Can't you pick someone from a book I've read?

A: Like who? Do you know how hard it is to come up with couples that don't die horribly? 

B+: What about Odysseus and Penelope?

A: Oh you mean the couple that's RIGHT THERE ON THE LIST? I told you I had couples you knew.

B+: Well they're not in your top tier couples. But fine. Let's see, what are some books I've read. Umm Great Expectations?

A: Would you like Estella and Pip or Miss Havisham and her husband that left her at the altar? 

B+: Havisham and her moldy wedding cake.

A: Great. So what else you got?

B+: The Grapes of Wrath? The Joads?

A: Sure. Why don't we go with the woman that gave birth to the still born baby and then breast fed the old man?

B+: True romance. The Catcher in the Rye? We can do Holden Caufield and the hooker.

A: Am I a hooker in this scenario? 

B+: Fine. Let's see, I read Rules of Attraction and...

A: NO! Moving on.

B+: This is hard. Maybe we need to look at movies. Marty McFly and, what was his love interest's name?

A: The girlfriend they left in the dumpster at the beginning of the second movie, or his mom?

B+: They're both such good choices.

We did eventually find a book couple that really does represent us, one that we've identified with for awhile. Calvin & Hobbes. Perhaps not a romantic couple, but a pretty great one. I'm Calvin in this relationship because of course I am. 

I think we have it all worked out now, but we shall see. Perhaps we'll come up with some more couples that aren't terrible and are from books we've both read.

Wedding Update: Guestbook

Now that the big wedding decisions are pretty much done, I thought maybe I'd have less updates. Not that I was ever really on fire with these things. But while all of the big stuff is done, I feel like there will probably be more to say about the little details. At the same time, I don't want to talk about EVERYTHING here, lest there is nothing at the wedding itself that's a surprise for the few people I know IRL that also visit my blog.

So far I think the only things I really don't want to reveal here are my dress and my first dance song. The dress because I don't want BF+ to see it before the wedding day (though he's going to see it before the ceremony cos I want pics done first so I can enjoy more of this cocktail hour because mmmm food) and the first dance song because I enjoy people trying to guess it.

What I will tell you is our guest book idea. At least the current one.

See, at first we wanted to do a photo booth. They're fun and I'd love to have pictures of each person/group of people. The plan was people get their photos taken in the booth, they keep one copy of the photo strip and they glue the other down in a book and then they'll sign around it. Fun, right? Here's the thing. Photobooths are kind of expensive. And the space we're in isn't massive. They said they've done photobooths in there and it's been fine, but I fear it's going to be this thing in the way of the dance floor. So we decided to scrap that idea.

We could just do a book, of course. But eh. Seems boring and like something I'd never look at again. And if I won't look at it again, why should I make people sign it?

We thought about one of those thumbprint canvas art dealies. I like the idea of having a piece of art to hang up. Of course the downside (or upside, I guess depending on your view) is people can't really write anything. The idea is guests leave their thumbprint and...that's it. I guess some I've seen have people sign their name but no messages. Which can be fine but if people WANT to write a message they sort of...can't. I haven't ruled this idea out entirely, but it's plan B at this point.

Plan A is bookmarks. We'll print up blank bookmarks for guests to sign. This goes along with the (semi) bookish theme and more importantly, I get bookmarks. Which is actually why I thought of it. I was having trouble finding a bookmark, because I tend to leave them in books and can't always remember the last place I had it. I was likely also watching one of those TLC wedding shows and I thought I could just make everyone sign a bookmark and then I will be swimming in the things! BAM. Mom and I are looking for bookmark templates (which I'm pretty sure is just...a long rectangle? I don't know why bookmark templates are a thing) which we'll cut up. Now I need to think of somewhere for people to put the bookmarks once they've signed them. So they don't take them home. Which is FINE but sort of defeats the whole "bookmark guest book" idea. I'm thinking a shadowbox for people to put them in, but if anyone has any other ideas I AM OPEN TO THEM!

Wedding Update: Big decisions DONE!

I always forget how much time has passed since my last wedding update. Of course I also forget how much time has passed on this engagement (over a year) so I'm bad at keeping track of dates and time in general. I did mention in a comment to Emily that I had a wedding post coming up. And then I forgot to write one. I'm going to blame Tumblr since I have been spending way too much time on there this past week. But I'm sitting around procrastinating on some chores while watching that TLC show Four Weddings* and realized I should probably write that update.

ANYWAY, I think I now have all of the big wedding decisions done, which is pretty exciting. Update on the last post where I went over shit we had figured out.

Venue: Still figured out! I want to go see it again cos apparently they've done a lot of renovations to the room we're in. Everyone we've talked to says the changes are awesome and it still pretty much looks the same, only better. The venue includes food AND the wedding cake AND the ceremony space so BAM! So much finished right here.

Wedding dress: Also still figured out, and should be coming in soon. Which will be cool cos it's been over a year since I saw the thing. Apparently these things take 9 months to make if you order it. But if you're not getting married for like a year and a half from the time you order it they figure they have some time to make it. And they're right. It's way better that they take their time with it rather than putting it into my hands where there's a good chance something will go wrong. I even have the shoes already and I've been sporadically wearing them around the house to break them in.

Bridesmaids dresses: Done! And everyone ordered them. And one of the girls even got theirs already so that's fun.

Photographer: Done! Found a company we really really liked. They did a great job showing us their whole set up (they do all of the work in house) and I loved what they do. Fun story from one of the photographers we didn't go with.
The photographer showed us an album of their work. As we're flipping through the album we notice one of the big pictures where both the groom and a groomsman both had their eyes closed. When Boyfriend+ pointed this out the answer was "Well, we let you pick whatever photo you want, even if someone has their eyes closed." His response: "Yes, that's great. But you don't have to show ME this picture when trying to sell me on your service." A week or so later they called me to follow up. Now, I didn't have the number saved to my phone so when I saw this number come up I didn't recognize it. Apparently they weren't sure who they were calling since they responded to my "Hello?" with a "Hi, who am I speaking to?" I think I actually made a scoffing noise and said "Well, you called me. So who are you?" At which point Boyfriend+ started laughing, they sounded taken aback, and once they announced themselves I felt even better about going with someone else. I won't name names cos that'd be mean but yeah.

DJ: Done! This was a pretty hard choice cos we really liked everyone we talked to but I'm happy with who we decided to go with. Now I need to work on the list of "Must Play" and "Must Avoid" songs. We already figured out the first dance song but I guess I'm supposed to figure out a Father/Daughter dance (assuming my dad wants to do that). Maybe I should farm that out to him...

Florist: Done! My mom came out last weekend and we went to see three florists in one day. After the first place she was ready to sign on but I need to know I'm making the right choice. I was. We ended up going with the first place, which does the flowers for our venue anyway. The venue comes with ceremony flowers (win!) which this place provides. Normally you sort of take what they give you, but now that we signed with them for all the other stuff they said they'd work with us a bit more on the ceremony flowers.

Invitations: Ordered AND delivered. Which was insanely fast. I think it was 2 days. I assumed this would be weeks but yeah, that was pretty sweet. Plus it means if we need to order more (man, I hope not) then at least I know it's a quick turn around.

Honeymoon: Booked! And I (finally) send my passport out for renewal. Getting that photograph taken is a real hassle. Hopefully there won't be any problems. But really, I got all of the measurements and despite what guy at CVS said, I'm pretty sure I can do just as good of a job as he can. It's not like he's an expert passport-photo-taker. The second problem is my inability to go to the post office even when I walk by it several times a week. But ugh, I really need to psych myself up anytime I need to go there.

I think now we just have the details to figure out. Wedding favors have been decided, I just need to poke some people to make things happen. I'm still deciding if I want to do literary couples or fav books as the table names. I'm thinking literary couples and I sort of don't care if people at the wedding don't already know who Eleanor and Park are. THEY CAN LEARN. Boyfriend+ still needs to pick out a suit. We need to get the wedding bands. Oh, and we still need an officiant. You know, details.

But I think we're in a pretty good place with everything. And things haven't actually been that stressful which is amazing. Hopefully it stays that way right up to the wedding day.

*Apparently my mom saw some casting call asking for brides in my area getting married when I am if they want to be on the show. And I laughed and laughed and laughed cos oh GOD no. No. I don't need strangers, both in person and on TV, judging my wedding. Besides I'd probably be there as the clueless bride who is like "Our theme is...umm...well I liked this thing so yeah, I went with that. That's a theme right?" If your curious our theme is "wedding," and I think we are NAILING IT. Also the prize is a honeymoon, which is awesome cos I heart free vacations but we already have our honeymoon booked so yeah. This was a long ramble to say you won't be seeing me on TV.

Wedding Update: Name Changing

I had mentioned in an earlier post how I had thoughts about name changing but I would save them for another time. Now seems to be a good time.

See, I'm not really sure what I'd like to do regarding my last name.

Should I keep it? I am lazy, and this route means I don't have to change anything. I've had people tell me it's really not that hard to change your name on things, but you know what? I don't believe any of you. I'm sure these places make it as easy as possible, except I STILL have to go to the DMV. And the passport office. How much time do YOU like spending at these places? It would also mean time off work because their hours always seemed to be from 11 to 3, minus an hour for lunch break. Plus I have the added bonus of the fact that I have a bunch of stuff due to expire riiiight when we're getting married. Such as said passport. Which means I before the wedding I need to get a new one so I have it for the honeymoon, and THEN I'll need to get another one with the new name. That's lame. Plus, beyond the laziness stuff, I like my last name.

Should I change it? On the other hand, I do like the idea of changing it. At least a little. But then what do I change it to?

Do I go hyphenated? I could do this. Neither of our last names are particularly long so I wouldn't have a super unwieldy name. But I'm not crazy about hyphenated names. This is mostly coming from having to set up usernames for people in our systems at work and the hypenation always gives us trouble.* And while the name wouldn't be too long, it would still be sort of pain to sign on things. But these are stupid reasons to write this off as an option, which is why I haven't yet. I have a bunch of friends that have gone this route. Besides, as I said above, I like my last name. But I like his name too.

Do I just change the name? This is certainly the expected path. And this is the one that would be the most amusing. See, I'm a little red-headed white girl. Boyfriend+ is part Chinese and his last name is Chen. Which means I would be Alley Chen, which means I could Donna Chang people. And confusing strangers seems like an equally good use of a name change as the whole "so we have the same last name" thing. I should also point out I have a bunch of friends that just changed their name as well.

I would throw out the options that he could change his name, or we could both hyphenate, but those have already been vetoed. I blame society. (I actually have a friend, or really a sibling of a friend, where both she and her husband hyphenated their names and I want to give them both big high fives for that.)

So I haven't come to any decisions yet. I'll probably make them when we're actually getting the marriage license. Or maybe after that, because I'm pretty great at procrastination. And I should point out here that, outside of changing his own name, Boyfriend+ said he's cool with whatever I'd decide. He said he'd like me to change my name to his, but ultimately it's up to me what I want to do and he's not going to be mad or disappointed if I don't change my name.

I also have a couple links I found regarding name changes, that I feel I should share cos they're pretty great.

The first one is from Jezebel's Lindy West who wrote "Men Who Insist You Change Your Name Make Terrible Husbands" and she pretty much nails every thought I've had on the subject cos West is pretty great. I don't like the whole idea and basis behind a woman taking a man's name BUT I do sort of like the idea of taking his name (beyond just the Donna Chang thing).

The second one is from the Vagenda titled "The Penis Perspective: A Wife By Any Other Name..." which is a guy's point of view on the whole name changing thing. Now it's a guy's point of view on a feminist website, so this isn't going to be the average "I want her to take my last name FOR REASONS" as I'm sure you'd get if this were to show up on a typical site. Or you know, in those Men's Health responses West quoted in her piece. I should say for the most part people have been asking me if I'd take his name, rather than assuming I would. So that's nice. Though the part that most hit me here was about the kids' name. The fact that many women would want to change their name so they would have the same name as any future kids, because OF COURSE the kids would take the father's last name. No question there. Which got me angry because I didn't even think of it until it was pointed out. Then I was mad that I hadn't thought of it. Or that I also assumed kids would just take the dad's name and while I'm not saying they couldn't, I'm angry that's the ingrained assumption.

Also, the part about how invitations were being addressed to Mr. and Mrs. His Full Name. No. That shit will not fly. I already got into a (sort of) fight with my mom about this with our wedding invitations. I told her I wouldn't be addressing invitations this way, and each person is getting their own name spelled out. This is mostly an issue with her friends that are invited, and she said they wouldn't care and would expect it to be written Mr. and Mrs. His Name. I said I knew the women better, and also they are their own people, and they're my invitations so this is how it's going. They may not care, but I do.

What do you think? For those of you who are married why did you or didn't you change your name? Did you get a lot of shit for your decision?

*Those and apostrophes in names. You O'Rourkes and O'Tooles are really messing things up. And by that I mean, we didn't program the system to do know what do with an apostrophe in a name. So I guess our fault, but I'm still going to blame you a little.

Another wedding update? So soon? Whaaaa?

I know, I know, can you believe it, another wedding post? Not one about last names like I mentioned last week cos I need to give that more thought. Or actually, I've given it a lot of thought, but I haven't starting writing anything about it yet, and it's probably something I want to give some time to. Except I just realized the show Cutthroat Kitchen is on OnDemand, so yeah, that's what I'm doing instead.

Instead, here's another mashup of random thoughts!

Vendor contracts
Whenever I google questions to ask various wedding vendors one of the questions that keeps popping up is "Will I have a written contract?" which...what? Yeah, I better get a written contract. I want everything in writing with both parties signatures that maps out everything: what's included, what's the cost, what are additional fees, what are the contingency plans. Who wouldn't provide this? Who wouldn't expect this?

Asking about contingency plans is apparently also an unusual question. But seriously vendor, what's your plan if things don't go well? And no, I'm not talking about between me and Boyfriend+. What will you do if your equipment fails? If you get sick? I think we're like the buzzkills of this process. I mean these aren't the only questions we're asking, but are they really that out of the blue?

Wedding albums
Loni and I were going back and forth in the comments of the last post about wedding albums, so I figured I'd open this up to anyone else who may know. So wedding albums. Is this a normal thing? And I don't mean albums like you'd get for scrapbooking, where you just slide pictures in those plastic sleeves or pasted on pages. Everything I've seen so far in this wedding process has included these wedding albums where the pages themselves are the photos. You work with a photographer to design the album (picking photos, backgrounds, format) and then the thing is all bound. Is this a new trend? Maybe it's specific to Long Island?

I also realized when thinking about these albums that I've never seen a friends wedding album. Not that I expect there to be a slideshow or anything, but I realized when I was trying to figure out if these wedding albums I've been seeing are a new thing that I've never seen a friend's album to compare.

The most important wedding vendor
Obviously every vendor we talk to says they're the most important part of the night. Of course they do. They say "Oh I'm not saying this because it's my business" but yes, yes you are.

Really in my mind, food & drink is number one. Well that and the venue cos you have to have somewhere to do the drinking and the eating.
Then comes photography cos that's the part you're going to have forever.

After those two, I'm less sure of what would come next. DJ? Maybe. I do think the music is important. Of course I've been to a wedding that was a lot of fun where they just used an iPod.

The dress? Sure, I love my dress, but that's sort of something just for me. Or mostly for me. Given the popularity of all the TLC dress shopping shows other people like to look at it too. Of course the photography is pretty much just for me too, so I guess that's not a great reason. The dress is the first thing I got, so that says something to the importance.

Flowers? I like flowers. If I couldn't use flowers at the wedding or something I'd be OK. It helps that there's a lot of flowers at the venue.

Bridesmaids dresses? I want people to be comfortable,  I want them to look good, I want them to look like they're part of the wedding, but top importance? eeehhh

What do you think?

Wedding plan update: A ramble

I knew I hadn't been writing about wedding planning stuff for awhile. I didn't realize just HOW long ago it was until I went through my posts. March 24 was the last wedding post, asking for help coming up with names for a bookish centerpiece. Well. Shit.

In case anyone would like an update from that things are...well, not much further along than they were back in March. But now I'm at the point where the wedding is less than a year away, so I probably need to start making decisions. Something I am awful at.

Here's what we have figured out so far:
Venue! - This is really the most important thing, at least in mind. Regardless of what else happens we have a location that will feed us and give us liquor. Everything else is a bonus.
Wedding dress - Yup, that's done. That one has been done for awhile. I think that should be coming in some time soon? Maybe? Probably something I should follow up on.
Bridesmaids' dresses - Hey, even this is done. Almost. I mean, I picked out one I liked and 2 out of the 3 bridesmaids were there to try it on. So we'll consider it 2/3rds done.
Officiant - All set! Unset. Did you know in the states of NY, FL, and VA a federal judge can't marry you? NY, do you really want to do the same thing Florida is doing? Think about that. No ship captains either. So I guess we need to figure this one out again. Dammit.

So that's pretty much it. We're looking at photographers and DJs now. We went to this bridal showcase and...I just don't think I'm cut out for these things. There was a lot of eye rolling on my part. I can't help myself. We have appointments set up, people to be met with, and hopefully decisions will be done soon. Then it's onto the next thing which is...flowers, according to this wedding checklist. Also a lot of the items on this list tell me I should "envision" things, like the flowers and type of music and things like that. I think they put those on there so I can feel accomplished checking more things off. Nevermind all of the items on this to-do list that have big exclamation points next to them cos I haven't chosen the bridal party yet. (My side is done. Boyfriend+ is taking his time. I figure I'll find out who all is included on the wedding day.)

I was going to ask those of you who have done the whole wedding thing about how long it took you to get your album*, but actually I've been looking over the laws for getting a marriage license and holy hell, are there a lot of details. Here are some fun facts about getting married in NY state (NYC is a whole new can of worms that I'm not even going to bother with but let's just say, I'm happy NYC was out of my price range for a wedding)

Did you know some states apparently require a physical before getting married? NY does not and that's good cos I'm not forking over a blood sample. Not for any reason that I think I'd fail, or that my DNA will show that I'm actually on the run after committing a series of bank robberies in Nevada** or something. Just, screw you, you don't need my blood for this.

Did you know you can get married at 14 in NY? Cos apparently, you can. You need written consent from parents plus a Supreme Court or family court judge, but still.

You can't your marry a parent, sibling, aunt, or uncle. Cousins are cool though, apparently

NY kicks ass in letting you choose what you want your last name to be Some states *cough*Florida*cough* say that only the lady can change her last name. And you can change your name whenever you feel like it, although your marriage license will say whatever you go with at the time. I plan on having a different post about figuring out last name, but I've already babbled about other things so I'll save that for it's own.

No ship captains I don't really know what this means other than a ship captain can't officiate a wedding happening in NY state. If you were to get married not in NY (and thus have a license from somewhere else) and the captain officiated that, you'd be fine. I think.

I apologize for the fact that this post is all over the place. Next time, I'll do a post about one wedding topic. Probably that name thing. And there will be less of a lag time between posts. Hell, these posts might pick up as I get closer and closer to the wedding and have stuff to report on.

*I sorta still asked that question, so if you have an answer, I'm all ears. I'm trying to figure out if the ranges people are telling us are totally reasonable or holy hell, what is taking so long?
**I may have been watching too much Unsolved Mysteries lately