You know the secret of my life

This is it, the final Lady Audley's Secret post. We shall see if all of our suspicions were correct. Thank you Alice for hosting this super fun time. Now to the spoilers and the gifs.

We ended the last chapter with Rob showing up very much NOT dead, though I'd like to imagine a bit singed, asking if he could have a word with Lady A. He makes a very dramatic announcement that Lady Audley set fire to the Castle Inn and...yeah. Was that not clear? Is that something that would have needed pointed out to the Victorian audience, or is this just more of MEB's sledgehammer? Anyway, Rob survived the inferno cos he wasn't asleep in his room. Which, OK. Bit anticlimactic but whatever.

Rob tells Lady A she has to confess to Sir Michael and we find out her other secret. She is a mad woman. Or I'm sorry MAD WOMAN. She killed George because SHE IS MAD! Except if you acknowledge that you're mad doesn't that mean you're sane enough to know it and thus not all that mad?

Lady A confesses a bunch of stuff, much of which we already know (Lady A = Helen Talboys, pushed George down well, was pretty pissed off over George's whole abandonment thing), some new stuff that we assumed (she was focused on marrying for money, her dad helped her fake her death), and stuff we didn't know (her mother was mad and it's the hereditary kind of madness). There were moments when I felt bad for her but then she had moments when you realize she's super selfish. Like when she learned that George was coming back from Australia and was trying to figure out how she was going to keep her rich life and she goes to scheme with her dad, where she meets Mrs. Plowson. This woman has the nerve to prattle on about her own insignificant problems which include a DYING CHILD.

I [Lady Audley] had miseries of my own, and worse miseries than her coarse nature could ever have to endure. These sort of people always had sick husbands or sick children, and expected to be helped in their illness by the rich.

Ugh poor people, always whining about how their children are dying or how they have no money for food. Wah wah wah. Don't they know that Lady A could end up poorer than she is now?? Her problems are WAY WORSE. Of course then she realized that she could use this tragedy for her own gain. She makes some comment about how the girl, Mathilda, wasn't going to last a fortnight and George was due back in 3 weeks and ISN'T THAT CONVENIENT??

I'm going to choose to believe that's not lazy storytelling and just add it to Lady A's death count.

Although Lady A hasn't actually confessed to pushing George down the well and I really thought there was going to be some technicality there, but no, she just saves that confession for later. I dunno why we had to hold on to that.

After hearing the confession Sir Michael silently walks out of the room and has a bit of a nervous breakdown. Rob is afraid he's going to have a heart attack when the shock wears off. He has Alicia keep an eye on Sir Michael as they pack to get away from Audley Court. They'll spend some time traveling around Europe. Meanwhile Rob has to deal with Lady A.

He ships her off to a sanatorium in Belgium. But he takes her there so that's pretty nice of him. And he makes sure to set her up in I guess a nice sanatorium. Now she doesn't have to go to court and thus Sir Michael isn't shamed but she still gets punished. Kinda.

Clara, who has not been present nearly enough, sends Rob a letter telling him he has to come visit Luke Marks cos Luke is dying and wants to see him. I'm not sure exactly how it works out that Clara is the one sending this message but I'm going to assume she already has things figured out and is trying to guide Rob the right way. Considering how fast she figured out the Lady A bit, I wouldn't be surprised if this is the case.

Rob goes to talk to Luke and GUESS WHAT! George did fall down the well but he crawled back up. Yup, crawled right up the well. The extra deep and empty well. With a broken arm.

Because I guess George is like that chick from The Ring. Luke found George hiding in the bushes and helped clean him up and get him a doctor. Then he was supposed to deliver 2 letters, one to Lady A and one to Rob, letting them know George is alive but ran away to Australia again. Except Luke wanted to keep blackmailing Lady A and didn't know who Rob was so nothing got delivered. Luke, you suck.

Rob tells Clara George is alive...somewhere. Probably Australia. Clara tells her dad, who remains nonplussed. Rob goes to stay with George's dad and Clara for...reasons? I'm not really sure. But it does give him the opportunity to sort of compliment Clara by saying things like:

[Clara was] more beautiful than the morning - for that was sometimes dull and cloudy, while she was always fresh and bright.

Thanks, Rob. I'm sure Clara likes being told "You're more beautiful than a really dreary morning." I'm sure he followed that up with things like "I like her even better than cold, weak tea."

I have noticed that in all of Clara's interactions with Rob in none of them does she display any affection for him. It's all "Avenge my brother, or I'll do it" and "Haven't you figured this out yet?" and "Man, you are wasting your life. Have you thought about not doing that?" He proposes to her, awkwardly, and her response is to just slowly pull her hand out of his. This by the way, right after he said he'd go search Australia for George if she would marry him, so yeah her hesitation makes sense.

Turns out Rob doesn't need to go to Australia to try to find George (which I assume would have ended up with Rob wandering around yelling "George" and eventually getting bitten by SOMETHING poisonous) because George is just chilling in Rob's London apartment. Just haaaaanging out.

Turns out he decided not to go back to Australia and hung out in New York for awhile before coming back at a super convenient time because he "yearned for the strong grasp of your hand, Bob." Good thing everyone has impeccable timing because this would have been awkward if he just missed Rob, who had boarded a boat headed for Australia. BUT THEN we could have gotten the Victorian equivalent of someone racing to the gate to stop him from leaving, so that could have been fun. Missed opportunity, MEB.

Rob and Clara end up married and they live together with George and Georgey so I'm going to assume that Clara is just the beard but at least now George and Rob and be together and raise Georgey together and that is adorable. Oh and Alicia married that other guy that she didn't really seem to care for but everyone has to be paired off, even if the woman doesn't care for him so fine. Whatever. Maybe Clara and Alicia are secretly together. And Lady A dies in the sanatorium. The end.

So what'd we think? I think we've read too many mysteries cos I mean, I am BAD at guessing what's coming next in a mystery. Which is good for me cos then I'm surprised exactly when the storyteller wants me to be. But here, we guessed it fairly early on which meant a lot of the time was spent waiting for the characters to catch up. I liked it but I wanted there to be more twists, more mystery. But I was entertained so kudos MEB.

Title quote from page 233, location 4532

Braddon, Mary Elizabeth. Lady Audley's Secret. Amazon Digital Services. Originally published 1862.

Heaven knows I was never born to be the avenger of guilt

It's Thursday again which means it's time for another Lady Audley's Secret readalong post! Thank you Alice for hosting. Sorry to those of you not taking part in the readalong as I bet these posts are boring to you. Next time maybe you'll play along because really, this is most fun.

Robert is all annoyed that Lady Audley won't run away and save Sir Michael from embarrassment when Rob outs her as Helen Talboys. I know this is supposed to be Rob trying to make it so his beloved Uncle is shamed in this scandal but this really just feels like Rob severely underestimating her cos she's some wispy girl. Hey, remember when she killed your bestie? Yeah, stop giving her warnings.

Rob is refusing to let Georgey grandfather visit him at school AND is making sure his care packages don't get to the boy and dammit Rob, what the fuck? I mean, I KNOW Captain Malden wasn't the best guardian for the boy but you can't even let him have some supervised visits or at least let him send the kid some sweets. Are we supposed to think Rob is really great for saving Georgey here? Cos right now I sort of hate him.

Sir Michael gets sort of sick but the doctor tells him not that sick so I don't know why everyone is so worried. Other than it gives Rob the chance to creepily stare at Lady Audley until she'll make eye contact with him, while I'm SURE Alicia is giving Rob dirty looks. What I wouldn't give for a movie version of this.

Rob questions the doctor and then later tracks down Lady Audley's past to a couple school teachers and at this point, I'm tired of Rob's quest. Unless the whole Lady Audley = Helen Talboys turns out to be a BIG red herring, we got this figured out all ready so watching Rob shamble to the same conclusion is getting tedious. Can we skip ahead to Clara and Rob: vengeance duo? There is at least a Miss Tonks and she hates Lady Audley, because Tonkses know what's up

I'm not saying Lady Audley's murderiness is a good thing or George deserved to die, I feel like everyone in this story is glossing over his abandonment. And apparently it was only one or two weeks after Georgey was born. Not that this news has any effect on Rob because he's still super in love with his dead friend. Also because Rob is kind of a jerk and all about abandoning children as well (see leaving Georgey with random waiter and dumping him at school while refusing him the comforts of familiar faces, aka his grandfather).

"I will go into the churchyard," [Rob] thought, "and stare at the tombstones. There is nothing I can do that will make me more gloomy than I am." - and Rob goes into his emo teenager stage.

While I'm getting tired of Rob, Clara is still winning me over. Of course she's only been in two brief scenes BUT STILL. I appreciate her meeting with Rob in the church.

Rob: But what are YOU doing here?
Clara: ...I told you I'd be coming here. Come on, it wasn't even that long ago.
Rob: **stares awkwardly at Clara**
Clara: Right, so you said you were going to tell me if you had news about my brother. Have you even been doing anything?
Rob: ...What? OH! That. Yeah I found out some more stuff.
Clara: Were you going to bother to tell me?
Rob: Later. I need to make sure I tell the killer first. Then I'll tell you. I am GREAT at detective-ing.
Clara: It's Lady Audley, isn't it? Look, that took me like 3 seconds.

Rob tells Lady Audley everything he knows. Just...all of it. Lady Audley faked her death to take up this new life that she is a big fan of and she already killed one person to keep her life so why Rob thought this was going to work out well for him is anyone's guess, but she already told him she's going to work on having him committed to an insane asylum, and I heart those were a grand ol' time back then. Rob, what exactly was the upper hand you thought you had?

Lady Audley starts planting the seeds of Rob's insanity in Sir Michael's mind. Well, not so much a subtle planting as screaming in Sir Michael's face with a bullhorn that Rob is crazy and needs locked up. But MEB hasn't been great a subtly this whole time, so this is probably as close as we'll get.

Of course then Phoebe shows up and gives Lady Audley the opportunity to just burn the Castle Inn down with Rob locked inside. Also Luke and some other guy, but they were mean so they can die too. Lady Audley is not to be fucked with.

But Rob's fine. Of course. Which is too bad cos the story could have switched to Clara getting vengeance for everyone.

QUESTIONS!
How did Rob get out of the Castle Inn in one piece? And did the others make it?
How great would it be if George isn't down the well and really did run off and then he shows up again and is all "Oh I just ran off cos that's what I do. I'm back now. I bet you didn't even realize I was missing"?
What's Phoebe going to do now that her Inn is burned down?
Will Alicia continue to say hilarious things? (calling Rob a peripatetic, patent refrigerator" and a "sluggish ditch-pond" and saying he would only care about her if she had inflamed lungs)

Title quote from page 171, location 3298

Braddon, Mary Elizabeth. Lady Audley's Secret. Amazon Digital Services. Originally published 1862.

Foul deeds have been done under the most hospitable roofs

Guess what! It's time for more Lady Audley's Secret! I say this with exclamation points, well, one because it's awesome. And two because I am all messed up this week and keep forgetting what day it is. See what happens if I alter my weekly routine in the slightest? I can't decide if today (Weds) is Monday or Sunday or Friday. Those aren't even close. And clearly causing me to ramble, so back to the point.

Thanks Alice for hosting this. Good times!

Heads up, I also mixed up the chapters we were supposed to have read by today (Thurs, writing for the future is hard) because I am winning at life right now. I thought we were supposed to have read through chapter 26 instead of 24. I'll just pretend I don't know things. Don't worry, it won't be too hard for me to do.

Alicia gets a non-incesty marriage offer, which she declines. Obv. Although this guy Sir Harry says something about Rob being a sneaky lawyer and hmmm. Is he really sneaky? Should we be concerned about him? Or is he just jealous because Rob is Alicia's love? (Prob the later BUT STILL.)

Rob gets kicked out of Audley Court right after Christmas. Lady Audley just reeeeeeaaally wants to be rid of him. I wonder why?

Re-enactment of George's last moments

Not cool, Sir Audley, telling him how he could stay as long as he wants and that he's like a son to you, only to turn around and kick him out within the hour because your really suspicious wife tells you to.

So now Rob decides he still has more sleuthing to do and he stays at the inn that Phoebe and Luke own. DUN DUN DUN. Phoebe warns Lady Audley via what I assume are orphan children (the Victorian method of texting) that Rob is staying there. Rob and Phoebe chat and Rob keeps commenting that Phoebe is clearly GREAT at keeping secrets.

Let's assume she has big hair

Luke is not great at keeping secrets or taking hints. Phoebe keeps trying to shut him up and he will have none of it, so that's pretty funny. Rob not-so-subtly hints that he knows all about the blackmailing of Lady Audley, and I wonder how he figured that out. But then the next day Lady Audley shows up to find out what Rob's up to and also because it seems both Rob and Lady Audley feel this need to update each other on how the whole cat and mouse game is going.

Lady Audley: Didn't Mr. Talboy go to Australia
Rob: I have reason to believe he did not.
LA: What reason is that?
R: I'm not going to tell you.
LA: Fine, whatever.
R: So here's why I think he never went to Australia...

Rob gets back to his apartment in London and finds that a locksmith had been to his place apparently poking around. He said he went there by mistake until Rob points out he stayed there a really long time for someone that made a mistake. Suspicious.

Rob muses on his love of George, ("Who would have thought that I could have grown so fond of the fellow...or feel so lonely without him?") and starts spewing action hero-y lines ("Justice to the dead first...mercy to the living afterward.") which suggests he's about to start kicking ass soon.

He then goes to visit little Georgey and we get some more suspicious behavior. George's father-in-law is a drunk but a drunk that really does seem to care for Georgy and Georgy loves him, so even though it is for the best I was still sort of sad to see the old man lose the boy. But of course we have all the suspicious behavior around Mrs. Plowman trying to keep Georgey from talking. Hmmmm. Of course Rob doesn't actually take the kid in. That would get in the way of all the avengin' he has planned. Instead he sends him off to a school. So, no one kept their kids around, right?

George's father is terrible, but in an entertaining way. "I wish [George] no ill. He's simply dead to me." And Rob points out that George is more literally dead. Harcourt says that George is just faking it to get back at him because the world revolves around Harcourt. Poor guy. I'm going to assume this is his way of dealing with the death of his son. Jumping right to denial.

But Rob does meet George's sister Clara when he goes to visit Harcourt and falls for her because hey, female George. She stayed quiet while her dad was going on about how George was dead to him (and then later claiming that he's totally not dead) but runs after Rob and begs him to keep trying to solve the case and find out what happened to her brother. I like Clara. And hopefully this means that Rob and Alicia won't end up together.

Though I'm sure George Michael would prefer an Alicia-Rob pairing.

QUESTIONS!
Why was the locksmith poking around Rob's apartment?
How messed up do you think Georgey is going to be?
Are Clara and Rob going to end up together? And will they team up and become vigilante super heroes?
What is Lady Audley's secret already?

Till next week.

Title quote from page 97 location 1857

Braddon, Mary Elizabeth. Lady Audley's Secret. Amazon Digital Services. Originally published 1862.

I did not think men were capable of these deep and lasting affections

Another Thursday, another Lady Audley's Secret and I can't tell you how many times I go to write "lover" at the end of that title. So apparently that's what I'm hoping is going to happen. ANYWAY, thank you Alice for hosting the always fun gif-filled readalongs. Here we go.

Another section down and George is missing. Probably because he's down that well.

Poor Rob wakes up from his nap, which apparently lasts like 3 hours cos he naps like a gentleman. We know George went to the Audley's. We know Lady Audley wandered back from the garden from roughly the direction of the well. And we know George is missing. And Rob is super worried. Because Rob and George were in love. Rob just wouldn't admit it until George went missing.

"Yet here he was, flurried and anxious, bewildering his brain by all manner of conjectures about his missing friend; and false to every attribute of his nature, walking fast."

WALKING FAST, PEOPLE. You know it's serious. I mean, he hasn't walked fast since he was at Eton. I love Rob.

He figures George decided to take the train back to Southampton and goes to visit/hit on his aunt. But poor Rob can't really focus on his weird incest needs because he's worried George is going to do something rash.

Lady Audley is really focused on her stupid ringlets. The ringlets she used to try to scare Caeser away. I don't know what magical powers she thinks her hair has but the only power it has is to annoy me. She also thinks it's rude of Mrs. Talboys to die and make George sad. You're not throwing me off your scent. And Rob is starting to get suspicious of her. Maybe not super consciously, but he notices her ring, a ruby heart encircled by an emerald serpent and that sounds like some ominous symbolism there. Also sounds like a very pretty ring and I would like one please and thank you. THEN he notices a very suspicious bruise on her wrist that looks suspiciously like a handprint. You know, like if you struggled with someone while trying to shove them down a well.

Rob heads out to Southampton, and while the landlady hasn't seen him George's father-in-law has seen him and told Rob that he's heading back to Australia. On the one hand, Rob says it's odd that he'd just up and leave without telling him. On the other hand, George already did this once. You know, the whole abandoning the wife and child. So not entirely out of the character for the guy, even if I don't actually believe that's what happened. We do have little Georgey talking about some "pretty lady" that used to come visit and he insists it isn't his mom and HMMMMMMMM who could this be?

Rob goes exploring and finds a bit of a telegraph (or, excuse me, telegraphic dispatch) that seems to confirm what Grandpa said about George heading to Liverpool and then onto Sydney. EXCEPT PROBABLY NOT BECAUSE MYSTERIES.

Rob heads to Liverpool but can't find George, or any mention of George there either and decides he's somewhere in Englad, though whether dead or alive he hasn't decided. He figures the best way to find George will be to write down all of the things he does know and he comes up with a title that...well he's pretty proud of it.

We leave Rob's journey to see Phoebe and her cousin/husband blackmailing Lucy. Sort of. They don't really blackmail Lucy even though the whole idea of them blackmailing her with the baby shoe. Instead Phoebe says that if she doesn't marry Luke he's going to kill her. Lady Audley makes the good point that if he'll kill her if she doesn't marry him, he'll probably murder her anyway. But given the follow up to Phoebe's confession is "He probably won't kill me if you give us a bunch of money so he can open a bar" I assume the whole murder-thing prob won't happen. Maybe. Except Luke follows this up by saying creepy "maybe I will murder you" comments, so who knows.

Rob tells Lady Audley his theory that something bad has happened to George and dammit Rob, quit telling the (probable) villain your thoughts, unless they are expressly to throw her off.

I won't be surprised if George's father-in-law ends up dead, or at least disappeared, for not properly disposing of the telegram.

Questions!
Who was that knocking at Rob's door early in the morning?
Is Lady Audley actually Medusa and Rob's dreams are prophetic?
Does Lady Audley have a secret lover?
How many more people are going to die?

Until next week!

Title quote from page 58, location 1126

Braddon, Mary Elizabeth. Lady Audley's Secret. Amazon Digital Services. Originally published 1862.

Grief is so selfish

Hey look! I have managed to actually read the assigned chapters AND get a post out in time. Good for me. Thank you Alice for hosting and I will do a better job with my posting.

So when the first section left off, we just learned that George's wife, that he didn't bother to talk to for three years after he ran "ran out for a pack of smokes" and disappeared to Australia, is dead. But what about the new Lady Audley and her seeekrit. Could these story lines be connected??

Probably, but we still don't know yet.

George faints after reading the very coincidental obituary and his buddy Robert takes care of him. I know last week there was some worry that Robert was this book's Dickchard, but I think we're safe there. Unfortunately, I think George might be our Dickchard.

After finding out the news that his wife that, again, he hadn't bothered to talk to in the last few years after just walking out, is dead he goes to find his father-in-law and his son. And then he is UPSET and CONFUSED that his young son whom he hasn't seen in years doesn't instantly love him. Upset enough that he decides to give the kid to his friend Robert (what?) and go back to Australia. I don't know why dumping the kid on his friend is the answer. I don't know why he can't just leave the kid with his grandfather, whom the kid seems to love. Or, you know, why he has to plan Abandonment: The Sequel so quickly after coming back. Probably because he's an ass.

The rest of the section was pretty much a bunch of near misses where George alllllllllllllmost meets Lucy except he doesn't because she doesn't want to suddenly or it's getting late or she's very tired. Meanwhile Robert has seen her for like two seconds and is IN LOVE WITH HIS AUNT and his cousin Alicia (who super wants Rob but we're ignoring that because cousins, even if Braddon is all into it) tells him to not be French or something like that. So that was pretty great.

During one of these near misses Lucy leaves the house and makes sure to lock all of the doors to her room and WHYYY is she keeping things locked there? Alicia takes Rob and George through the house but is all sad they can't go into her chambers because that's where the good pictures are, including a picture of Lucy. BUT DON'T WORRY there's a secret passage way into her rooms. Rob and George go in, they look at the painting aaaannnndd....nothing. Or at least we don't get a moment where George announces that Lucy = Helen. He does however stare at the painting for awhile and then drop a glove. Alicia tells Rob and George that the painter is able to see something in Lucy's character that she's hiding and Rob tells Alicia to stop being so German and I'm not really sure what he means, but it does mean I get to use this gif

Lucy comes back and finds out people were in her room that she specifically locked and she's...really fine with it. That was anticlimactic. Huh. Alright.

There's a big storm and George runs away and is all upset so SOMETHING is going on. Lucy gets angry at Alicia's dog and demonstrates this by shaking "her yellow curls at the angry animal, and defied him maliciously" so. I bet that showed the dog.

Why was George so taken by Lucy's photo?
Why is Lucy locking her bedroom and yet she doesn't care when people wander in?
Is Robert going to get with his aunt or cousin? Why are these the options?
What's going to happen with George's son?
Is Phoebe going to blackmail Lucy yet?
Is Alicia going to stab Lucy in her sleep?
What is Lucy's deal?

Title quote from page 32, location 622

Braddon, Mary Elizabeth. Lady Audley's Secret. Amazon Digital Services. Originally published 1862.