The Monkalong III: You have bartered for momentary power eternal happiness

Here we are at week three of The Monkalong (thank you, Alice) and let's see if I can sum up my feelings for Ambrosio

How I wish I could go back to Raymond's ridiculous rambling, totally off-topic stories about bleeding nuns and murderous bandits. Instead we get Ambrosio being the worst. More than the worst. Worse than he was when we last left him.

Now he and Rostilda are banging on the reg, because Rostilda didn't die because she tells him she knows of a way to live, if he says he wants that AND if he promises to never ask how she did it. Ambrosio agrees and apparently Rostilda wasn't a demon before, but she is now! Or at least she makes a deal with the devil, who she claims is now a servant of hers.

To make sure no one guesses that the super pious monk is a wee-bit less than celibate these days, he decides to rail extra loud about how people need to steer clear of temptations or they'll go to hell. Really laying it on thick. I am forced to assume every politician has read this far into The Monk and decided "Yes, this is a genius plan, and will never backfire."

But what He wanted in purity of heart, He supplied by exterior sanctity. The better to cloak his transgression, He redoubled his pretensions to the semblance of virtue, and never appeared more devoted to Heaven as since He had broken through his engagements. Thus did he He unconsciously add Hypocrisy to perjury and incontinence.

Though really, this is in part Rostilda's idea. At one point Ambrosio hears that The Prioress is going to extra punish Agnes for embarrassing her in front of Ambrosio, and he has a moment of pity where he considers talking to The Prioress and having her consider that whole mercy thing Jesus was talking about. But Rostilda says he can't do that, cos if he starts looking like he's soft on that sort of behavior, everyone's going to figure out what they're up to.

Redouble your outward austerity, and thunder out menaces against the errors of others, the better to conceal your own.

Ambrosio is apparently a "hit it and quit it" type of guy cos he is getting booooored of Rostilda and starts eyeing other ladies, eventually settling on Antonia. And I realize this hasn't been confirmed, but we're all in agreement that Antonia and Ambrosio are siblings, right?

Part of the reason he's tired of Rostilda is that he doesn't like it when a lady actually wants sexy times.

Matilda gluts me with enjoyment even to loathing, forces me to her arms, apes the Harlot, and glories in her prostitution. Disgusting! Did She know the inexpressible charm of Modesty, how irresistibly it enthralls the heart of Man, how firmly it chains him to the Throne of Beauty, She never would have thrown it off.

Elvira is seriously ill and Antonio is looking for someone to pray for her, and out of the goodness of his heart (or really, the thing in his pants) Ambrosio decides to give up his promise to never leave the Abbey and goes over to visit Elvira in person. And while he's there, I guess he'll get to see Antonia.

He keeps making regular visits, Elvira keeps getting better until one day, after visiting with her mother, he goes into Antonia's room and then assaults her.

She tries to fight him off and her screams were enough to call her mother over. And here's where I realized just how smart Elvira is

She judged that to unmask the Imposter would be no easy matter, the public being so much prejudiced in his favour: and having but few Friends, She thought it dangerous to make herself so powerful an Enemy. She affected therefore not to remark his agitation, seated herself tranquilly upon the Sopha, assigned some trifling reason for having quitted her room unexpectedly, and conversed on various subjects with seeming confidence and ease.

Naturally, Ambrosio vows vengeance against Elvira for ruining his attack. But we're not done yet, because there hasn't been enough crazy here. Rostilda knows all about Ambrosio's obsession with Antonia and is willing to help him get what he wants. By summoning the devil, obviously. Rostilda convinces him to go along with the plan using some pretty convincing logic (she does have the devil behind her, after all) that he was "planning the destruction of innocence" anyway, so why not just go 100%. Besides, he's not really worried about doing something terrible. He's really just worried about God being mad at him. And anyway, isn't God all about forgiveness? There's always time to repent and really, don't you want to make it something really BIG that God has to forgive you for. Make it worth everyone's time.

So, Ambrosio is now going to partner with the devil so he can get Antonia.

I can't even guess what next week will bring.