Book Memory meme. How long can I go without cheating?

I realize my blog has been a bit survey/meme happy this month. There's a reason for that: I am lazy. Wait, no, I'm always lazy. This month is different because work has been intense throughout October. Quarter closes are always more hectic than usual, and the fall is always when things start to pick up after the relatively-slower summer and October is when both of these come together in a hurricane. My mantra for most of this month has been "Just get to the 31st. Get there. Once we get past that, it's clear skies." I was going to try to write another review but instead Sarah (who has been my survey/meme source this month and THANK YOU for that) graciously posted this meme so I'm gonna do that instead.

The rules to this thing are answer the questions in the image below without searching your books/the internet for answers. Also something about tagging 5 people to do this but I'm going to skip that part cos REBEL. But you should probably do it too, so we can all see how terrible our memories are. I'm sure Google has ruined mine.

1. Name a book written by an author called Michael: OH MAN, look at me being able to answer the first one. The Poet written by Michael Connelly, which I read for a college class AND he came into the class to talk so I also got my book signed. So there you go. One question DOWN

2. Name a book with a dragon on the cover: That Ergon one? It looks like "dragon" but with vowels at the beginning. Some copies of The Hobbit probably have a dragon on the cover.

3. Name a book about a character called George: Curious George the monkey. That's a George character. Now, let's see. I'm supposed to name the book so...Curious George Goes To The Zoo? I have no idea if that's actually a book but it sounds like it could be, right?

Name a book written by an author with the surname Smith: Zadie Smith? Is that her name? If so White Teeth? Am I right?

5. Name a book set in Australia: In A Sunburned Country by Bill Bryson. Oh, I'm sorry, did you want something other than a memoir/travel type deal? Then The Rosie Project DOUBLE ANSWERED.

6. Name a book with the name of a month in the title: Uh oh. I think I'm in trouble now. OK I've tried to come up with something for a solid 5 minutes and I'm getting nothing. But I double answered 5 so yeah, I'm still good.

7. Name a book with a knife on the cover: Kitchen Confidential by Antony Bourdain? I actually think it might be a sword, but he probably USED it like a knife.

8. Name a book with the word "one" in the title: Um. Crap. I'm blanking. Does Mindy Kaling's Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? count? There's a one shoved in there. Cos otherwise the only thing my brain is giving me is "This one time, at band camp" and unless that's a memoir from Allison something (I remember her first name cos it's mine. Her last name isn't mine and thus I forget it. Hannigan? Something like that?) I got nothing else.

9. Name a book with an eponymous title: So, since I'm not supposed to internet things, I suppose this means I can't double check what eponymous means. Does it mean the title is a name? Like Hamlet?

10. Name a book turned into a movie: Thank you for the easy one cos I was struggling with the last few. The Shining by Stephen King because Halloween time.

PHEW OK, now that I've gone through and answered I NEED to check if I'm right on some of these.

2. Dragon book? Got them both right! WIN!

3. Did George go to the zoo? I found one book Curious George Visits the Zoo and thought I was screwed, but apparently the bugger has made several trips and another book is called Curious George Goes to the Zoo. Win again!

4. Is it Zadie Smith? It is! And she did write White Teeth!

6. Month book: I asked Tom if he had any ideas and he sounded really confident for like 1/2 a second before going "Oh wait. Ummm" and finally giving up. I Googled it and found a list of books I've never heard of plus The Hunt for Red October by...some guy. I literally looked that up 10 seconds ago and already forgot. Good job, me.

7. Is that a knife or sword? I'm looking at the cover I have and I'm honestly still not sure. BUT I found a different cover of Kitchen Confidential that most definitely features knives. So. I still win.

8. Does "everyone" really count? Yes, it does. Dammit. But in case it doesn't (in this quiz no one is scoring) I looked through my shelves till I found Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris.

9. Have I forgotten all my vocab lessons? Possibly. I looked up eponymous and I think I got it right.

Alright, now to go actually read Sarah's post, since I couldn't do that BEFORE answering, lest I influence my own responses.

Will you free us from the tyranny of William Shakespeare?

In my quest to expand my graphic novel/comic book knowledge*, I decided to give Kill Shakespeare Vol 1, written by Conor McCreery and Anthony Del Col, with art by Andy Belanger a try. Cos, you know, Shakespeare. Seems like a good bridge between things I like and things I want to like.

This is only the second graphic novel I've read that was more along the lines of, at least what I think of as, a traditional comic. I've read Maus I & II, Fun Home, and Hyperbole & A Half which are really their own thing. I also read The Watchmen back when the movie came out and I borrowed it from my brother and I thought it was...fine. Later I tried the first issue of The Walking Dead and gave up after about 10 pages when I realized I was barely skimming it. I've found the style difficult to get into. I fly through the panels with no speech, missing every detail and I have trouble slowing myself down. All of this is to say I went in with some trepidation but ultimately everything worked out.

Kill Shakespeare is a mash-up of all of the most well-known Shakespeare characters: Hamlet and Richard III and the Macbeths and Falstaff and Juliet and Othello and Iago AND MORE! The plot is its own thing. It opens with Hamlet waking up on an unknown shore. Hamlet got on that boat with Rosencrantz & Guildenstern, but a vision by a specter calling him the Shadow King and a pirate attack changes the course of the original play a bit.

Richard III finds Hamlet and strikes up a deal with him. See Hamlet's arrival has apparently been predicted by the stars and he's fated to be this Shadow King. The Three Witches (from Macbeth) will bring Hamlet's father back to life if Hamlet will find the wizard Shakespeare and bring Richard his quill. Richard's teamed up with the Macbeths and Iago in the hopes of gaining power and in general being jerks. As they do.

During the journey to find this Shakespeare, Hamlet gets separated from Iago and winds up with Falstaff who introduces him to Juliet and Othello. The three of them are very much on the side of this wizard Shakespeare and just as Richard III said it was prophesied he would show up and help them kill Shakespeare (like the title!), Falstaff believes the prophesy means Hamlet is supposed to find Shakespeare and bring him back to defend his believers.

Who to trust? Well, I mean, we know but will Hamlet figure it out? What will happen if Richard III gets all the power he desires? Will Juliet be able to help the believers?

If comics aren't really your thing but Shakespeare is, I would give this a try. There are lots of references to the original plays thrown in here and there but overall you don't need to know the plays to enjoy this. Though I do think it'll help. Some of the layouts I really liked, especially those of Hamlet and Falstaff wandering through the forest. And others I was less into. Some of the battle scenes that I think were supposed to be really tense made me laugh. Female representation isn't bad. It isn't great. There are really only 2 main female characters (Lady Macbeth and Juliet) compared to 5 guys, but given the character pool we're working with, it's not super surprising. They also sort of fall into 2 typical "strong female character" tropes, but given most of the characters fall into some sort of stereotype, it's again not super surprising.

I've been on the lookout for Volume 2, though so far no luck. But I will keep my eye out for it cos I would like to see where this story goes. It's not my favorite graphic novel (when you're up against Maus it's really not fair), but I enjoyed. And I'll slowly make my way into more graphic novels.

Gif Rating

*If you want a great list of graphic novels to check out, but you're not really sure what to go for, take a look at Kayleigh's post Pages to Panels: A Bookish Guide to Getting Into Comics. It has given me a BUNCH to pick up. Cos my TBR wasn't long enough.

Title quote from some page but I dunno which one cos there are no page numbers. Early-ish

Belanger, Andy, Anthony Del Col, Conor McCreery. Kill Shakespeare: A Sea of Troubles (Volume 1). IDW Publishing, 2010.

Authors Behaving Badly or holy shit, stalking is never the answer

Remember awhile ago when a bunch of authors felt that GoodReads authors were bullying them so they set up a group called Stop The GoodReads Bullies and then bullied those GoodReads reviewers? Yeaaah.

Now, I'm not saying that book bloggers can't be jerks. They can. Cos they're people and people can be jerks. Sometimes it's on purpose, sometimes it's by accident. Whatever. For the most part though, fair or not, I feel like it's up to the author to be the mature one and not engage. If you get a negative review that you think is unfair, don't yell at the blogger, don't try to defend yourself. Just ignore. Because no matter how right you may be, you're going to seem like the crazy person. Even GoodReads believes this since they've made it so if you're registered as an author and you go to leave a comment GoodReads says "You really want to do this? Really? Cos you really really really shouldn't do it. Not even to say thank you. Just don't say anything."

So I hadn't heard a lot about authors behaving badly (or badly behaving authors, which I guess is the typical way it's written but I already wrote this and I like my way better) for awhile now. Not to say it's not happening, but I tend not to go looking for it and I tend not to read/follow a lot of self-published novelists (which it may be a stereotype but I assume most of the ABB fall into this category) so something had to be fairly big to fall on my radar.

I was scrolling through Tumblr when I saw this story posted by Jenny Trout  called "DON'T DO THIS EVER" about an author who became obsessed with a blogger who left a one-star review of her first book on GoodReads, enough to prompt the author to eventually show up at the bloggers house to confront her about the review. NOT ONLY, did the author go above-and-beyond the normal author behaving badly, but she seems sort of...proud of the behavior? She wrote about it for The Guardian without a lot of shame for what she did. She complained that people told her the reviews are for readers, not the author (which...yes? Was that confusing her?) and when she complained about people who leave negative reviews, she just means ones that are also writing their own books? I guess if you're writing your own thing you're not allowed to dislike any other book written. Ever.*

She also claims she was "Catfished" by this blogger, because the blogger didn't use her real name (probably because the blogger described herself as a teacher and I have friends who are teachers who are not writing reviews or anything like that, and don't use their real names or keep their profiles private just to keep their students from finding them) and also the author doesn't really understand what "catfish" means in the internet world. Which seems like a bad advertisement for someone who wants to make their living using words. But nonetheless the author contacts Nev from the MTV show Catfish and even this guy, who makes his living confronting people who lie online, thinks it's a bad idea for the author to just show up on the blogger's doorstep.

BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY DO NOT DO THAT, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM??

Do negative reviews suck? I assume so. Why would you want to be told that something you poured your heart and soul into was terrible. But stalking someone and randomly showing up at their house, tracking them down in real life? In WHAT WORLD is that the right reaction and not the actions of a crazy person?

The author got the blogger's address because of a giveaway. A book club wanted to do an interview with the author and asked the author to pick a blogger to do it. Somehow (she's not clear how) her nemesis blogger was connected with this book club and the author managed to get her address this way. As part of a giveaway.

I'm already sort of paranoid about giving my address or any personal information online, to an extent I think one should be. I've sort of relaxed on this over time. I'm not posting it publicly online, but I've been less worried about sending authors my address directly through email. Now though. I don't think my behavior will entirely change, but I will be more cautious. Maybe using a different address? Maybe ecopies only? I dunno, but something to think about.

*I know there are benefits to maybe not writing negative reviews of other authors if you yourself are pushing your own book. I don't necessarily agree, but I understand not wanting to badmouth what is in a way a co-worker. But that's a different topic and one I won't talk about cos I'm neither an author nor trying to be one so I really don't have much of a leg to stand on in that debate.

Pain has a way of wakin' you up. Of remindin' you who you are

I meant to write this review last weekend, but last weekend also included a work trip down to DC. I thought about trying to get it written while I was down there, but that would have required me to bring both an extra book (on top of Misery and my Kindle) AND an extra computer (my personal one with all my gifs as well as my work one). So yeah, I am not a pack mule and that did not happen.

I'm pretty sure I spent about an hour at my local bookstore wandering around not sure of what I felt like reading. I ended up in the horror section and scanned through the Joe Hill titles because hey NOS4A2 and Horns were pretty great. Let's give him another try. And thus I picked up his first book Heart-Shaped Box.

Heart-Shaped Box is a ghost story. Judas Coyne is a retired death-metal rock star with an interest in the macabre. That makes sense, right? What else would you expect a retired death-metal star to do but collect stuff like a hangman's noose or a snuff film? His hobby is well-known enough that fans send him these things, so when someone reaches out to tell him they have a heart-shaped box that contains an old man's suit and the restless spirit of said old man, well sure, he jumps on that. He doesn't really believe in the supernatural so he's not particularly worried about this ghost. Which is too bad for him. And for his sort-of girlfriend/chick a fraction of his age that he's been having sex with, Georgia. Georgia isn't her actual name, but instead the state she's from because that's how he names these ladies. 

See, it wasn't a coincidence someone reached out to him about this box and suit and spirit. It's from the family of a former lover, Florida, who killed herself not too long after he kicked her to the curb. Florida's sister sent the spirit of their father after Jude for what he did. And it doesn't matter if Jude doesn't believe in ghosts because the ghost can still do plenty of damage to him and everyone in his life.

I liked this story. It was scary and violent and kept me wondering what was going to happen next. What could Jude and Georgia do to get away from this ghost? Other than let the ghost win, which means Jude is dead. Not a great option. So if scary and violent is not your thing, skip this one.

It's also not my favorite Hill (that would be NOS4A2) but it was still a good one and it certainly creeped me out. Those ghost eye scribbles...

Anyway, gif rating:

Title quote from page 152

Hill, Joe. Heart-Shaped Box. Harper, 2007.

HEY LOOK! Another bookish survey

Yes, I did just do one of these. What do you mean, I'm only doing this to procrastinate on writing an actual review? How dare you accurately state my intentions

So yeah, I know I just did a survey but work has also been insanely busy and the next few weeks aren't looking like they're going to let up so a post like that is a nice way for me to still be able to get a post out even when my brain is mush. Thank you, Sarah (and Kayleigh), for posting another one of these and away we go!

1. Favorite childhood book:
There was this book about a giant chicken that terrorized an Eastern European village and then the people of the town killed and ate it. I have NO idea what the book was called but I looooved it. Not enough to remember the title, however. Just enough to make a diorama of it in kindergarten? First grade? But if you want a favorite book I DO remember the title of, let's go with The Golden Book of Sharks and Whales. I still have random passages from that memorized. Because that's what my brain chose to hold on to in place of loved ones birthdays.

2. What are you reading right now?
Misery by Stephen King for the upteenth (or like 4th) time.

3. What books do you have on request at the library?
I have none. I don't even have a library card. ::hangs head in shame::

4. Bad book habit:
Reading too quickly and missing key details. I never really noticed how often I did this until I started doing readalongs and everyone would point out really cool stuff and I'd have no idea what they were talking about, despite having read the exact same thing as them.

5. What do you currently have checked out at the library?
Gonna continue to mock me about this, huh?

6. Do you have an e-reader?
I do. And have for awhile now.

7. Do you prefer to read one book at a time, or several at once?
I usually only read one at a time but I'm not opposed to having a few going.

8. Have your reading habits changed since starting a blog?
How I read has mostly stayed the same, although I find myself composing blog posts while I'm reading. I promptly forget those compositions as I'm usually "writing" them while I have no way of actually recording anything. And besides, at this point I end up reviewing something about a month after reading it and there is no way I'd remember anything that long. I have found "what" I read has changed a decent amount. It's more diverse than before, which is sad when you consider how not-diverse it is right now. And I definitely have a better idea of new books coming out, something I never kept up with before.

9. Least favorite book you read this year:
::Looks over 2014 book spreadsheet because yes, I have one of those:: Hey, I've read a LOT of good books this year. Good job, me. But they can't all be winners and so far I'd have to say Zombie, Inc. is at the bottom of the pile.

10. Favorite book you’ve read this year:
This is way harder. Is it The Martian by Andy Weir? The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion? The Serpent of Venice by Christopher Moore? Another book that doesn't start with "The"? I can't decided.

11. How often do you read outside of your comfort zone?
Not often enough?

12. What is your reading comfort zone?
I feel like these questions would have made more sense in the other order. Anyway, something contemporary and funny.

13. Can you read on the bus?
"The bus" sounds very specific, like you have a particular bus in mind. I do not often ride "the bus" or "a bus". I will say no, though I do read a LOT on the train and subway. But I can't read in cars and buses are big cars so I'll assume no.

14. Favorite place to read:
I want to say somewhere really picturesque and quaint, like in a sun-dappled park or something like that but I pretty much never read in those places. Not even cos I'm not normally in these locations, but because I'm easily distracted when I do get a chance to read in a park or something like that. I tend to do well on the train, so I guess I'll say there?

15. What is your policy on book lending?
I do not do it often. And when I do it's only with certain people. Though to be honest, not many people ask me to borrow books.

16. Do you dog-ear your books?
I do not. 

17. Do you write notes on the margins of your books?
Only with my Kindle, and then it's just sarcastic comment.s

18. Do you break/crack the spines?
I try not to. I legitimately have books that look like they've never been opened despite the fact that I have read them multiple times. Because I'm a crazy person.

19. What is your favorite language to read?
Ahahaha, you think I'm way smarter than I am. I actually have read a book in French but that was Le Petit Prince and it was over the course of like 4 months in class and also that's a children's book so probably shouldn't have taken that long. I have a copy of Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream in Italian because why not? But yeah, English is pretty much my only option.

20. What makes you love a book?
If I can connect with it. Whether I'm connecting with the characters or the premise or the language, there needs to be something that gets under my skin, that my mind keeps going back to.

21. What will inspire you to recommend a book?
If it's a book I love love love, I will try to shove it down everyone's throat, because I care like that. Otherwise if someone happens to mention either a particular book I've read or if they mention something I think would be up their alley I'll recommend it. Pretty much I love recommending books and if someone off-handedly mentions they're looking for a book I will attack them with book recommendations. 

22. Favorite genre:
Funny? Yes. That'll do.

23. Genre you rarely read (but wish you did):
Classics. While I love love love my funny books, I should read something that challenges me more.

24. Favorite biography:
I have not read many of these, so...Bill Bryson's Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid? Does that count? Or what about memoirs? I guess those don't really count either. Sorry, I got nothing here. The only biography coming to mind was one on Anne Boleyn that I read in the second grade, and I don't actually remember anything about it. I just remember having to dress up like the character for class and my parents really missed a golden opportunity to make me a headless costume.

25. Have you read a self-help book (and was it helpful)?
Probably but I can't think of any now (I am SO GOOD at these surveys). I know I read a little bit of He's Just Not That Into You that a former roommate had. That was all kinds of not good.

26. Favorite cook book:
I get most of my recipes from the internet as I think "Man, I want to try to make X". Or from my mom sending me magazines where she's already cut out all of the recipes she wants. I have some Rachel Ray cookbooks from a long time ago.

27. The most inspirational book you’ve read this year:
I don't know that I would categorize any of the books as inspirational. Dammit, another non-answer.

28. Favorite reading snack:
I am not coordinated enough to eat and read at the same time. I'd just make a mess. Or the food would be way over THERE and I'd be over HERE and I just wouldn't eat it.

29. Name a case in which hype ruined your reading experience:
The River of No Return? Sorry, everyone who really loved this one. I did not and I thought I really, really would.

30. How often do you agree with the critics about a book?
Sometimes. I tend to only read critics of books I've already read.

31. How do you feel about giving bad/negative reviews?
Fine with it. I mean, I feel a little bad cos I don't want to shit all over something that someone tried really hard at. But if I didn't like the book, I'm not going to lie about it.

32. If you could read in a foreign language, which would it be?
No idea. Sadly I don't read that much translated lit to say "Man, I wish I could read X language." Maybe Japanese? Not that I read much Japanese lit but I'd say more than others.

33. Most intimidating book I’ve ever read:
I read Hunchback of Notre Dame in like middle school. I had no idea what was going on (there is a LOT of Latin in that book...) I blame Disney.

34. Most intimidating book I’m to nervous to begin:
So many. Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, East of Eden by Steinbeck. Pretty much anything that I'm afraid will be too complicated for me.

35. Favorite Poet:
Shel Silverstein? I have not read a lot of poetry.

36. How many books do you generally have checked out of the library at a given time?
QUIT IT WITH THE LIBRARY STUFF

37. How often do you return books to the library unread?
Just being mean now

38. Favorite fictional character:
Wow. How do you even narrow this down? Thursday Next, Sirius Black, Bernadette, Lizzie Bennet, Biff, I could keep going.

39. Favorite fictional villain:
Umbridge? Although I hate her the most but maaaaaan, she was a good villain.

40. Books I’m most likely to bring on vacation:
Like specific titles? I don't change the books I'm reading for vacation. It's the same stuff I'd pick if I were just home.

41. The longest I’ve gone without reading:
A week or so?

42. What distracts you easily when you’re reading?
Anything. I'm super easily distracted. TV, the internets, if I'm trying to read in that idyllic park from earlier swans (there are swans and geese at this park near me and they are hilariously mean and I never get any reading done cos I just watch them terrorize small children/each other).

43. Name a book you could not finish:

My Mother She Killed Me, My Father She Ate Me Ugh just, not good.

44. Favorite film adaption of a novel:
Princess Bride. SO GOOD. I also love love love the '99 adaptation of Midsummer with Kevin Kline and Stanley Tucci. And of course the Lord of the Ring movies but it seems wrong to include them here cos I did not care for those books. So...

45. The most disappointing film adaptation:
How The Grinch Stole Christmas the Jim Carrey one. Just, sorry there wasn't enough material there for you and you had to pad it out. But you did it wrong. I'll assume The Cat in the Hat was terrible as well.

46. Most money I’ve ever spent in a bookstore at one time:
Like $50? Maybe? I tend to only buy one or two books and then at least one of them tends to be on discount so I don't spend much at one time. Now, over the course of a month the total can be fairly high. See my earlier answers about not having a library card.

47. How often do you skim a book before reading it?
Not very often. I probably should do it more.

48. What would cause you to stop reading a book halfway through it?
If it's so terrible it's not even worth it to me to write a negative review about it (I try to only review books I've read all the way through) OR it's good but I'm not feeling it at the moment. I tend to finish whatever book I'm reading though.

49. Do you like to keep your books organized?
If by "organized" you mean "mostly on bookshelves" then yes.

50. Do you prefer to keep your books when done, or give them away?
Keep. I need to do a purge though.

51. Are there any books that you’ve been avoiding?
Yeah, those I am intimidated by. Because of the intimidation.

52. Name a book that made you angry:
The Last Girlfriend on Earth. Just...grrrr

53. A book I didn’t expect to like but did:

Octavia Butler? When I first read Dawn I did it because college made me and at first it was too weird for me. But as I went through it I realized this is INCREDIBLE.

54. A book I expected to like but didn’t:
The River of No Return. I am still bummed I didn't love that one.

55. Favorite guilt-free guilty-pleasure reading:
How can it be a guilt-free guilty-pleasure? Then it's just pleasure reading. I tend to read for pleasure so this is now back to my favorite type of books and those are humor.

To die, it's easy. But you have to struggle for life!

It seems that graphic novels are a thing now* and I like things and trends and whatnot and wanted to play. I'd only ever read one before, Fun Home, and thought it was time to give some more a try. I was limping** around The Strand and I found their graphic novel/comic book section and decided today is the day I try this graphic novel thing again. And thus I picked up Maus A Survivor's Tale and Kill Shakespeare.

I decided to start with Maus because I wanted to depress myself. Well, that's only one of the reasons. It's also one I've been meaning to read because I've heard nothing but great things about it. And it's closer in style to Fun Home which I enjoyed.

For those that don't know, (so like 4 of you? probably) Maus is about the Holocaust. Or I guess technically the first book, which is the one I read, is about the time leading up to the Holocaust.

Art Spiegelman tells his father's story of his time living in Poland leading up to being sent to a concentration camp. Jews are mice, nazis are cats, Polish non-Jews & non-Nazis are pigs and I think those are all the animals.

The idea of animals instead of people can make the story seem somewhat...happy? Not, not happy. It's still the Holocaust. Whimsical? For children? I mean, American Tale is about Jewish mice chased out of their home when their village is Russia is burned to the ground and the escape to the tenements of NYC. This is pretty much just that, right? No, but until just now I didn't think of the fact that there was another piece of media that used the mice as Jews thing.

I remember reading somewhere (and I really wish I could remember where) saying that a lot of Holocaust literature has some sort of frame story or element to add a layer between the reader and what happened (Death as narrator for The Book Thief for example).

The horror of the events are a lot to handle without some device that lets your guard down. If that was Spiegelman's intention it works well. The fact that the characters are mice in no way makes you care about them less. It also doesn't downplay the seriousness of the story or make things any less painful to read.

The story jumps back and forth between the present when Art is visiting his father and his step-mother (his mother committed suicide years earlier) to hear his father tell his story. His father never comes off as a saint. Or even a particularly present person to be around. Which if anything further humanizes his father, mouse or no mouse.

This was excellent. It was amazing and moving and terrifying and depressing and of course it made me cry. I wish I had picked up Maus II so I could pick it up immediately after. You should read it. Everyone should read it. If you don't think you like graphic novels, read it anyway.

Gif rating:

*OK, by "now" I mean I have recently heard non-graphic novel/comics people talking about them and starting to read them.
**I had, it turned out, sprained my ankle not long before getting to the bookstore because I was comparing how pale I am (very) against Tom (not pale at all) (this is not a surprise or anything. It's not like a new fact that he's much darker than me) and I messed up stepping off a curb because I am AMAZINGLY GRACEFUL. If you're wondering if it still hurts, yes, a little bit. So that's fun.

Title quote from page 122

Spiegelman, Art. Maus: A Survivor's Tale I: My Father Bleeds History. Pantheon Books, 1980

Iiliad: How it started

Remember back in August when I wrote that summary post about Oedipus? I thought it was about time for another one of those, this time about The Iiliad. Well, not the actual Homer poem, but the stuff that lead up to that war. I don't mean to keep focusing on Greek myths except for two facts: one of my favorite books when I was little was D'Aulaires' Book of Greek Myths so I've read them a ton of time and also they are MESSED UP. Anyway, how'd that whole war dealy get started?

It all starts with a lady. Not Helen of Troy, we'll get to her. This starts with Atalanta, which is sort of like the beta version of Artemis, except not a goddess. She was born to a king who was so pissed she didn't have a penis that he abandoned her in the woods as a newborn because if there's a lesson you should take from Greek myths it's that old-timey royals were assholes.

A continuing issue

Instead of being found by a shepherd, she was found by a she-bear and while that should have meant she ended up as a tasty snack, the bear raised her and she grew up to be super fast, as that is the main thing bears are know for? I suppose she was limited in the amount of mauling she could effectively do, having inferior claws and teeth.

Even less effective than this

Some dude sees her running in the woods and decides to trap her because why not? He teaches her to act like a human, but also enters her in a bunch of races, because what's the point if you can't make money off of your found lady-pet? Her birth-dad hears about this girl winning all of these races and somehow realizes it's the same person he abandoned as an infant and decides that NOW it's OK she doesn't have a penis. Kind of OK, because he also decides it's ridiculous that she isn't married yet and decides to get right on fixing things.

She doesn't want to get married, but instead of that being that, she has to come up with some scheme to keep from getting hitched. So she says she'll only marry someone who is faster than her and also anyone who loses a race to her has to die. She figures that no one is going to take that bet cos you know, WHY but she's hot and apparently that's all it takes for a bunch of guys to try (and fail) to beat her.

Then this one guy shows up and he figures out a way to win. He knows he can't run faster than her, but he apparently also knows she cannot resist shiny things. He somehow was able to procure a bunch of golden apples so while they're running the race he throws them first near her and then further away and she CANNOT help but stop and pick them up. Because in addition to a she-bear, she also had a packrat as a best friend and Disney, how have you not made this a movie yet?

Anyway, this guy wins the race and gets to marry the girl who I guess is fine being married but mostly likes those golden apples. They forget to properly honor Zeus (see royals being dicks) and he "punishes" them by turning them into lions. Zeus must have got drunk and mixed up his punishment and his reward bags that day. Lions have no need for golden apples and somehow they ended up in the hands of the gods. One goddess in particular, Eris goddess of discord.

Awhile later one of the Argonauts, Peleus (Achilles's dad), wins a wife from Zeus (ladies get NO SAY in these matters...) and for the wedding he invites all the gods. Except somehow Eris's invite got lost in the mail, probably because who wants the goddess of discord hanging out at their wedding? Though I suppose if they invited Hades and other less-fun gods it's just rude to leave this lady out.

Eris shows up Maleficent-style but instead of cursing someone to the ultimate nap, she throws one of the golden apples into the crowd of (vain) goddesses and tells them that it belongs to the most beautiful one. Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite each run for it because of course they're the most beautiful. Then they totally ruin the wedding by getting in a giant fight over who deserves the apple and say what you will about Eris but she is good at what she does.

Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite continue fighting back up on Olympus but none of the other gods are touching this battle. Really, do you want to be the one to judge this beauty pageant? Zeus is staring out the window, trying to ignore the fight going on behind him, when he has an idea. The only way this is going to stop is if someone names one of the goddesses the most beautiful, but none of the gods are willing to deal with the two loser goddesses so the answer is to get someone else to judge. Maybe one of those mortals cos really, fuck those guys.

Zeus decides this super hot guy Paris can be the judge and Paris seems pretty OK with this because HEY get to judge a goddess beauty pageant, and also he has not thought ahead to the fact that whoever loses is probably not going to take it well because, again, the gods are pretty terrible.

The three goddesses decide to bribe the judge because of course they do. Hera, queen of the gods and of marriage (...), promises Paris power and that he'll get to rule all of Asia. Athena, goddess of wisdom and warfare, promises to make Paris the smartest man in the world. Aphrodite, goddess of love, promises him sex. Not with her but with the most beautiful woman on earth. GUESS WHO PARIS PICKS!

Aphrodite surprisingly stays true to her word and promises Paris that he can have Helen (told you we'd get back to her), the most beautiful woman in the world. There is one tiny snag; Helen is already married to King Menelaus. No matter. Aphrodite has her son Eros shoot one of his arrows into her heart and she is totally ready to elope with Paris and start a ten-year war. Then you know the rest.

September Reading Wrap-Up

September is over and how it is HOLIDAY SEASON. First up, Halloween which I loooooooove even though I never do anything for Halloween beyond watch Nightmare Before Christmas. Although now that I typed that I realized last year I couldn't find my copy of Nightmare which is depressing. So I guess it will be more listening to the soundtrack while I watch Beetlejuice and try to figure out what the hell I did with my copy of that movie. Anyway.

I actually did pretty well in September with my reading. Which is surprising. I'm not really sure why or what about the season meant I made it through more books than I've been reading over the summer. But I did. Take that, past me.

Number of books read
7!
Heart Shaped Box by Joe Hill
Kill Shakespeare: A Sea of Troubles by Conor McCreery, Anthony Del Col, and Andy Belanger
Bad Feminist by Roxanne Gay
Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh (review from the first time I read it)
I Wear The Black Hat: Grappling with Villains (Real and Imagined) by Chuck Klosterman
Landline by Rainbow Rowell
Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex by Mary Roach

Horrorstor by Grady Hendrix (turns out I actually read 8 books and somehow forgot this one)

Total pages read
2,091

Percentage of fiction read
43% - whaaaaa? Could this be why I got through so many books?

Percentage of female authors
57%

Percentage of white authors
86% - BUT NOT 100%

Percentage of US authors
100% - ::hangs head about new disappointing stat::

Percentage of ebooks
14% - I thought it was way more than that

Percentage of rereads
14%

Percentage of review books
0%

Books written by decade
2000s - 29%
2010s - 71%

Books by genre
Horror - 14%
Essays - 29%
Graphic novels - 29%
Science - 14%
Love story - 14%

So I marginally improved my white-people stat. Even though it was accidental. As in, I didn't actively TRY to find a book by a POC and instead just stumbled upon one. Which is how I like these stats to improve because then it doesn't involve extra effort on my part. Hooray lazy.

I also didn't realize I ended up reading so much nonfiction last month. How'd that happen? I wonder if that's why I got so much more read. Or maybe correlation doesn't equal causation and I don't have enough other information to say if that's really why.

Also I'm juuuuuust about caught up with my August reviews so will I be able to finish reviewing the September books before October is out? Probably not! But you never know.