Sunday, September 30, 2012

First (real) wedding post: engagement ring

I know I posted a zillion years back (at least in internet time) about Boyfriend+ and I getting engaged and I said something about maybe doing wedding posts if people were interested. And people said they were. And then I didn't post anything (other than bitching about that advice lady). Whoops. But that's because I haven't really had anything to share.

I'm not big on planning things. And I haven't been dreaming of my wedding since I was little. We're also spreading out this engagement thing so we can take our time figuring out what we want and give us a chance to win the lottery or find a pot of gold or something. So while I don't have any plans to write about (yet), I do have something that's not me complaining about wedding/marriage advice: the engagement ring.

When Boyfriend+ proposed he didn't have a ring*. He'd been telling me if he was going to propose he would do it with an onion ring. A vidalia onion ring. You know, keep it classy. But he didn't have one of those either. Something to do with he wouldn't be able to sneak it past me and the grease would stain his shorts.

It took a lot of shopping around before I finally found a ring. Well actually I found a ring that was really beautiful fairly quickly, but the problem was it wasn't an engagement ring, which meant it was kind of a funky shape, which meant it didn't fit nicely with a wedding band, which means getting it to fit would required getting a custom band made, which is lots of money. I could wear it on my right hand, but I'd really rather wear both rings together. Besides, I like the claddagh that I wear on my right hand.

FYI, if you're ring shopping and you mention that you don't want a diamond, be prepared for people to insist that no, no, you DO want a diamond, silly girl. You're just confused. See diamonds are for engagement rings. After a few stores we stopped telling people we were looking for an engagement ring. Unless they asked point blank, but most don't. I guess they assume if it's an engagement ring, you'll tell them. But yeah, I didn't want a diamond. I wanted an aquamarine. I love the stone, I love the color and it's both my and Boyfriend+'s birth stone. It means more to me than a diamond.

I FINALLY found an awesome store that is all about getting you what you want instead of making sure you're sticking with tradition. The woman I talked to there was so friendly and so helpful. And she got me a bunch of aquamarine stones to choose from. So yeah, if you're ever out on Long Island and need jewelry (I know, happens all the time), check out Frassanito Jewelers. Figured I should mention them by name, since they kick so much ass.

So 78 days after the proposal I got my ring! And I love it. It's not like what I thought I wanted (except for the aquamarine). It's much simpler than I thought I wanted. And here it is!
Preeeeettttttyy
So given how long that took, it should be awhile before I have any more wedding updates. Although Mom is already ALL ABOUT dress shopping, so perhaps I'll have something about that next. Or else I'll complain about something in a wedding magazine. Lots of inspiration there.

(So I meant to post this this morning. And instead I forgot about it until now. Whoops.)

*Which TheKnot.com says is the number one proposal faux pas and shut up. The engagement wasn't any less legit because I didn't get a ring right then. The "propose in front of an audience" thing is on the list, and I agree with that. It says even if you DO accept the proposal, you sorta want to be in your own bubble for a little while. Boyfriend+ and I stayed in that bubble for a week while we were on vacation (we told people when we came home) and it was lovely.

Comments (37)

Loading... Logging you in...
  • Logged in as
Pretty! I like that you went your own way with it - be bold! My engagement ring was actually my Grandma's, and also means way more to me than what a jeweler would have told me I wanted. I'm liking these wedding, updates, they remind me of my own engagement. :] Also, I love that picture up top!
1 reply · active 649 weeks ago
I didn't have a ring when I proposed to my wife either. She ended up being sick that day, too, and so we cancelled all the plans I had and tickets for events...but it was still a nice day, one in which I made her chicken soup and we did quiet things.

Nice to do things a little differently - more power to you.
1 reply · active 649 weeks ago
Preeeeettttyyyyy. I love nontraditional engagement rings. I always thought I wanted a colored stone, but Angel is very sneaky and picked the ring out all by himself and it's all diamond-y but also kind of vintage-y, and I love it because he picked it out...and because it spaaaarkles. But SHAME on those jewelry-store people for trying to make you get something you don't want. I'm glad you didn't pay them any mind.

NOW you'll have to tell me how much time, in total, you spend staring at your hand over the next few weeks.
1 reply · active 649 weeks ago
So so so pretty! And well done not getting a diamond just because you're 'supposed to' (did you know that diamonds are only the engagement stone because of a massive marketing push by De Beers... sometime in the 1900s? So, you don't want to be caught up in that shit!)

Please continue to bitch about traditions, and stupid things in magazines etc, cause it's the greatest :)
3 replies · active 649 weeks ago
YOU DIDN'T GET A DIAMOND AND I LOVE THIS AND THAT RING IS SO PRETTY
1 reply · active 649 weeks ago
Aw your ring is really very pretty! I cant' believe proposing without a ring is considered a faux pas, I thought a lot of couples prefer to choose the ring together. And I like that you bitch about these "traditions". :) Would love to hear your thought on the top ways to be a good wife!
1 reply · active 649 weeks ago
Alley,
This is very exciting & the ring is awesome. My brother recently asked me to help him pick out his lady friend's piece and I had to tell him that I know absolutely NOTHING about diamonds or rings and would love to help but couldn't actually. So. He got one without me and she loved it. I've always wanted an emerald or sapphire but will be wearing my Nana's which was recently passed to me. Get what you like because you'll be the one wearing it. The peeps in the stores just have $$$$ for eyes and mouths and stuff. CONGRATS again! It's good to know there are other peeps out there that don't have the details worked out. There's hope for me!
1 reply · active 649 weeks ago
Aww that ring is gorgeous!! I didn't pick out my ring, but hubby did a fantastic job, so I can't complain ;)

I was not the planning type either, and seriously lacked the wedding gene. We went destination and pretty much just showed up with very minimal planning (other than my dress!). Even that I wasn't excited about shopping for - but it wasn't *too* bad ;)
1 reply · active 649 weeks ago
Your ring is lovely. I can't believe the jewelers were trying to convince you to buy a diamond. I have one, but everything about the ring and the wedding band that goes with it is very me. My friend proposed to his wife with a silly ring he picked up at WalMart. It was super cute.
2 replies · active 649 weeks ago
My husband didn't have a ring when he proposed and we waited several weeks before telling anyone....and we've been married almost 25 years. So whatever is best for the both of you is what you should do. Remember, the marriage is more important than the wedding. Go with what you want and don't feel guilty about not following the books.
1 reply · active 649 weeks ago
what a gorgeous ring! It'll be that much more unique, personal, and special since you're getting what YOU want vs. what those silly retailers THINK you want, haha. Love the wedding status posts! Keep 'em coming!
1 reply · active 649 weeks ago
Very pretty ring! And I love the wedding status posts too - they might even give us some inspiration to actually start planning our wedding ...!
1 reply · active 647 weeks ago
I am really late to the party, but what a LOVELY RING! Even more special since it's a shared birthstone between the two of you.
1 reply · active 646 weeks ago
“I FINALLY found an awesome store that is all about getting you what you want instead of making sure you're sticking with tradition.” Yes, it should not really be about the tradition, but about what a woman and a man truly want for their wedding and engagement. Anyway, your ring is truly lovely. :) Congratulations!
Honestly it meant alot until we got married and now my wedding ring means everything. I am planning to upgrade the e-ring to a bit more my style in the next few months. But honeslty before we got married it meant alot more but now it is just a complement to my wedding and anniversary band

Ladies Diamond Rings
Interesting story of you guys, against the traditions, no Diamonds...
Appreciate it with regards to providing this excellent significantly better truth. We wants expressing the product combined with our own friends along with online community. You should definitely become renovate making use of your web site, I am day-to-day buyer involving the web page. give thanks again.
You can wear this ring with black or silver bands depending on your preference. You can select a silver ring studded with precious metals or an elegant gold and platinum one. To get more details about Cuban link chain, visit on this hyperlink site.
You can wear this ring with black or silver bands depending on your preference. You can select a silver ring studded with precious metals or an elegant gold and platinum one. To get more details about Cuban link chain, visit on this hyperlink site.

Post a new comment

Comments by