Google analytics, thanks for the laughs

I'm watching you Google

I love Google Analytics. I can see what posts get the most traffic, I know which states are ignoring my blog (what's up North and South Dakota? not good enough for you?) and I know what phrases people Googled to find my blog. A lot of the phrases make sense and I hope those people were happy with where they ended up (though judging by their bounce rate, nooooope). However there are some that I want to be like "How did you ever end up over here? You are so lost. I'm sorry, I can't help you, but thanks for the laughs." And instead of just enjoying those myself, I thought I'd share it with you guys. Also, this is bound to mess with those keyword search results even more so that's fun.

"silhouette of a lady birthday cake" - I'm intrigued. I'd say it's one of those sweet'n'nasty cakes but silhouette makes it sound classy. Can I come to your classy-but-maybe-not party?

"3 beach chairs" - That's specific. What if I can offer you 2? Can you share? 2 and a towel? That's my last offer.

"adult coping skills" - Oh, you are so in the wrong place.

"beast fucking beauty fantasy 3..." - I only have versions 1 & 2.

"excuse me club 6" - you're excused

Variations on "how did the plague start on The Walking Dead" - I know why you're ending up here and I'm sorry, but I have no idea.

"it's/its my birthday bitch/lady birthday" - Happy birthday! What exactly where you looking for?

"mrs frisby and the rats of nimh diorama" - I can't help you wit that but I hope it turned out awesome. Please post pictures

"shame full girls no underwe" - I didn't cut that off, they did. They were too excited they couldn't even finish the word

"walking dead gives me nightmares" - Me too man.

"where have you been?" - Waiting for you! A call would have been nice

"why+was+it+important+that+ed+fletcher+be+at+work+early%3f" - He'd been late a lot recently. Little Susie hasn't been doing well at school and doesn't like the look of Ben's new group of friends and all the worry is keeping him up at night. But if he wants to keep his job (the kids' private schools as well as the mortgage payments) he needs to complete all the work for the Stevenson account.