Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Why I avoid challenges

I am 65% of the way through Ma Jian's Beijing Coma which translates to 468 pages out of 720 and I really wish now Kindle would just put little page numbers on here in addition to the location and percentage stuff. I need at least 3 different indicators of how far along a book I am when I don't have the weight of the book in front of me. Anyway, what I'm saying is, I'm not going to have a review of this anytime soon. I know I tend to post multiple times about a book while I'm reading it, but believe it or not, I do tend to do that only if I have something to say. Or at least I think I have something I want to say. Whether you think I did is really a different matter. I have lots I want to mention but so far it mostly has to do with how little I know about this period of Chinese history, even though I was alive for most of the time period described. Don't worry, I'll go into how pathetic I am in that post. Right now though what I'd like to do is take a little break from Beijing Coma so I have a new, less-depressing book and maybe something I can post about. I don't have a problem breaking up a book like this. I did it with Strange & Norrell and that book wasn't even depressing. Just ridiculously long.

Here's my problem though: I'm doing this China Rican reading challenge. But I don't really want to break up Beijing Coma with another book for this challenge. See I haven't really been able to find, well, any books I can use for the Puerto Rican part of this challenge. I only have the 2, the one I already read When I Was Puerto Rican and I heard about another one called The Time It Snowed in Puerto Rico. I read about the "snow" one on someone else's blog and honestly, they didn't have great things to say about it. It was OK but not really worth it. I added it to my list in the hopes that I'd find something better. But I haven't yet. And When I Was Puerto Rican was alright but a bit of a let down as well. So I don't really have another challenge book I can use to break up Beijing Coma, at least nothing I'm looking forward to reading.

To top that off, I do have a pile of books that I really do want to read, just staring me in the face with these Disney eyes, asking why I'm ignoring them. I know lots of people have insane TBR piles, but I don't. When I say my TBR pile I'm referring to an imaginary list that I'd like to maybe get around to reading at some point. I don't typically have an actual, physical pile of books. This time however, I do have that stack*. And I want to read them, but none of them qualify for this challenge. Yeah, I know I made up this challenge. No one actually would care if I finished it. Hell, Boyfriend doesn't even really care. At one point I asked him what he thought of me doing this and he just laughed. Granted that was most likely his reaction to watching me run in circles while playing L.A. Noire** which really just means he ignored my question. Because I think that he likes that I'm doing it on some level, but really it doesn't matter to him all that much. He doesn't want to say it doesn't matter, hence the change in subject. Even though he doesn't care, and really precisely because no one cares, I don't want to cheat, because then I'm just cheating me. OK, so I'll stick to the challenge, but now the challenge is starting to feel like work. And I hate that.

I guess what I'm saying is, I'm glad I started this challenge because I read some books I very likely wouldn't have picked up and I have a whole bunch of Chinese authors on my TBR pile (the imaginary list one) to check out and I do think I'm learning slightly more about the countries and cultures. And I've cemented why I normally avoid challenges and that I'll most likely be avoiding them in the future.

*If you're curious, here's my current stack of books that is just waiting for me to finish up with this challenge so I can get to them:
A Visit from the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan
Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie by Muriel Spark
Hogdoggin' by Anthony Neil Smith
Tokyo Vice by Jake Adelstein
Superfreakonomics by Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner

**OK, the last game I just finished playing (replaying) was Luigi's Mansion so obviously I am a sporadic gamer. I've watched people play the GTA series but I've never done it myself. So what I'm saying is the controls are all new to me and quit laughing at me just because I get stuck between like every door and gate there is in this stupid game and omg did the suspect get away AGAIN because I still can't figure out how to read a map. Dammit.

Comments (20)

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Love this post - it's funny how how conflicted you seem to be about this whole idea emerges slowly but surely, like you're trying to justifying scrapping the challenge to yourself, but you can't quite talk yourself into it. It's the post of a tormented soul. ;)

I don't do challenges either, for all the reasons you've mentioned. Yes, you may read some books you wouldn't otherwise read, but you may wind up reading some really boring, bad books you wouldn't otherwise read, too. I don't do these for the same reason I don't accept review copies - I don't want to limit my reading freedom. ;)

Good luck finishing your China book!
1 reply · active 716 weeks ago
Haha, the post of a tormented and stubborn soul. I'm liking Beijing Coma book but it's just so long. At least i think this will be the last book I read for the month, which means I won't have to worry about another book for this challenge.
I'd say if it causes you angst, let it go. Reading should be fun first and foremost. Finish Beijing Coma and dump this challenge. In other news, Luigi's Mansion is awesome.
1 reply · active 716 weeks ago
I have a feeling I'll be finishing up Beijing Coma at the end of the month, so I won't have to worry about the rest of the challenge. Good thing for that book. Also I was so excited when I found out the Wii plays Gamecube games which meant I got to play Luigi's Mansion again. Even if the end boss keeps destroying me.
I've made up challenges for myself and then totally not completed them. However, I do love challenges. I just don't think that you should pin yourself down to reading something if you really, really, really wanna give up.

BTW, I really liked Never Let Me Go. If you finish this Beijing Coma book, you should totally read Never Let Me Go next.
1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago
I think it's going to work out nicely that Beijing Coma will be the last book for this challenge. Cos I really have no desire to read the other Puerto Rican book I have, nor do I want to spend money on a book I don't think I'll like.
Last year I seemed to read nothing but debut YA's so I signed up for two challenges. It is now mid-June and I think out of the almost 60 books I've read only 2-3 have counted towards either one. I'm reading mostly established authors or adult.
I don't work well under challenges. I feel pressured to read what I'm *supposed* to and not what I want or like a failure when I'm not caught up to where I should be.
1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago
There's something about being told, even if it's just by yourself, what you have to read that makes it that much harder to read it. I probably won't be taking part in another challenge, at least for awhile.
" I need at least 3 different indicators of how far along a book I am when I don't have the weight of the book in front of me."

Dude YES. Awesome. Whenever someone's like "Oh, I'm 36% through this book I'm reading," I say "Ah, a Kindle user." WE DEMAND PAGE NUMBERS.
1 reply · active 716 weeks ago
Yeah I know that percentage is far more accurate than just looking at how many pages you've turned, but the number is way too abstract for me to comprehend. I want those page numbers dammit, or else I'm forced to doing math to figure out how many pages I read. And I studied English in college so I wouldn't have to do math.
First off, hope that you're enjoying Beijing Coma despite the length. It is a long book - physically and emotionally. But I found it a very rewarding book. I hope you do as well.

Anyway, I agree with what you said about challenges. I sometimes find myself making my own little challenges - I did a World War literature spree a few months back and the books I'm currently reading are leaning towards the God vs. Science theme. But, I don't like cementing these challenges because, if I did so, I'd be compelled to finish them whether I wanted to or not. The way I have it now, I read through a theme until something else catches my attention.
1 reply · active 716 weeks ago
I am liking Beijing Coma a lot, but like you said it's physically and emotionally a long book. I hope I don't get burned out by it because there are definitely points now where I'm like "Oh good, another 40 pages about in-fighting and struggles for power with the students. That's sure different than the last 150 pages".

I might do a challenge again but it will have to be a secret challenge. Meaning I can't go and say what the rules are or anything because I swear that dooms me to fail. But I'm going to stick with this one. Because I'm stubborn.
I've never joined a challenge, because my fear is what you're going through, that it'll feel like work, even though you've made this challenge up for yourself. I might do a challenge that I make up for myself, but I don't know what it would be... Mostly, I let my mood guide me to the next book.

I'd like to know what you think of Never Let Me Go and Superfreakonomics. I haven't actually read either, but I'm interested in them.
1 reply · active 716 weeks ago
I normally stayed away from challenges because I didn't want reading to feel like work. It hasn't quite gotten to that point yet, but it's feeling like it when I realize I have nothing light and funny to break up Beijing Coma with. Ah well, at least it's a good book.

Freakonomics is one of my favorite books so I'm looking forward to the sequel. I've been waited awhile for it to come out in paperback.
It's nice to hear that another blogger doesn't normally have a physical stack of books staring you down. Mine is mostly just a list as well and it stresses me out enough. Although, like you, I did notice a small pile growing on top of my bookshelf this past month. I thought with it being summer and hanging out by the lake I would have more time to read, but I'm having the opposite problem lately. Good luck with completeing the challenge. There are pros and cons to them (as you pointed out). As much stress as they can cause, I usually realize I'm glad to have read the books I assigned to myself.
1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago
Thank you! I didn't realize so many people had actual, physical TBR piles other than just a list of titles they'd like to get to. Having the actual pile stresses me out a bit.

Maybe if I do someone else's challenge, I'll be better at it. Cos then I can blame them if I don't like the challenge instead of myself :)
I think you should read what you want when you want to. When you starting veering away from that, it makes reading much less fun.
1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago
I think I'll probably stick to that type of challenge in the future. You know, the non-challenge. I know you just had some trouble with Little Women. Is that making you rethink doing other future challenges?
I think you should go read Never Let Me Go right now. You won't be sorry. Then go back to your coma.;)
1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago
Haha back to my coma. It's starting to feel that way. I think I'll persevere through this challenge but a few people have convinced me I need to make Never Let Me Go my next book.

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