Although an undoubted vagabond, I am a vagabond of the harum-scarum order

This is it. We are finished with Bleak House. All bajillion pages. Thank you Alice for hosting

Now we have the last chapters. Let's see how everything resolved

Bucket is now racing to find where Lady D has run off to because Sir Leicester is amazing and wants her back and doesn't care about her past and is the sweetest person ever and I feel bad for all the times I thought mean things about his gout.

Bucket continues to be super nice and friendly while trying to find information, while at the same time getting back to the carriage with Esther and completely dropping the friendliness (not that he's being mean to Esther, just he's not as jolly as he was a moment ago) and this is not winning me over in terms of thinking Bucket is not faking friendship with other people he's nice to. Cos it seems this is something he's able to turn on and off really easily. And YES maybe he's just really friendly and he can keep these things separate and he's very sincere in his friendship. Or not. I can't tell.

Aaaaand Lady D is dead. Well. Huh. I did not expect that. And she died not knowing that Sir Leicester is awesome and had already forgiven her and just wanted her home and safe. Damn. And now he's had a heart attack or a stroke or something.

Dickens is a jerk.

BUT this is not the end of the story, even if it is the end of the most interesting storyline.

Richard continues to be a Dick-chard and is getting sicker and sicker so Esther is always hanging out with Ada, as things should be. Ada married Richard thinking she could change him and yeah, that's working out great for her. Also she's pregnant and hoping the baby will help make things better with Richard. Again, that always works out so well.

Skimpole calls Jarndyce selfish in his memoirs or whatever.

Skimpole is the worst. But now he's dead. Without ever learning a lesson about his behavior or anything of the sort.

George and his brother reconcile and George becomes friends with Sir Leicester and takes care of him and that's nice of him. So he got a happy ending.

Jarndyce pretends to plan his marriage to Esther just to mess with her cos HAHA he knew she loved Woodcourt, which is why he had Woodcourt's mom move in with them for a while. Jarndyce is so sweet. Even if that was sort of a mean trick and can't you just give Esther what she wants without playing an elaborate trick on her? No, instead we have to make her cry and cry and try to convince herself they're tears of happiness. Great. But now Woodcourt and Esther is engaged.

In what is probably my favorite scene in the book, Guppy shows up to say that even though Esther is all weird looking now he will totally still marry her, isn't he swell?

Roughly how the proposal goes

So then when Jarndyce turns down the engagement on Esther's behalf, Guppy's mom (who he TOTALLY BROUGHT ALONG) gets all angry and demands they get out. Except Guppy & co came to Jarndyce's house so instead Guppy and Jobling have to drag Mrs. Weevle out kicking and screaming.

The Jarndyce & Jarndyce case is over. I still have no idea what happened. But now it's done and the book's almost over so I guess that doesn't matter.

And then Richard dies and I should probably feel bad for him, but not happening.

Ada and her son move back in with Jarndyce, which I guess is nice except she's obviously supposed to move in with Esther and Woodcourt so way to screw that up, Dickens. But Esther is happy so I guess it's a happy ending.

Oh, and there's a line about Ada's son having two moms. Because of Esther. So. Are there seriously people that argue Esther and Ada aren't in love? Because how?

Here's the thing. We have now finished Bleak House. And I've read A Christmas Carol and Great Expectations a bunch of times (because various classes made me) and I've come to the conclusion that Dickens

Sorry Alice. I thought if anything would make me appreciate the guy it would be one of our readalongs. And I still stand by that. Cos if this didn't do it, there's little hope. I like the idea of Dickens but actually getting into the weeds of his stories I mostly just...don't care.

BUT I still had a good time doing this readalong with everyone, as expected. And now I can say I've read this one so, points.

Title quote from location 14553

Dickens, Charles. Bleak House. Amazon Digital Services. Originally published 1853. Kindle edition.

It won't do to have truth and justice on his side; he must have law and lawyers

We're almost to the end of Bleak House. Mysteries will be solved, jackasses better be punished (Skimpole...). Thank you Alice, for hosting this readalong and keeping us all motivated (and spreading the chapters out).

Bleak House chapters XLIX - LV (which I hope means 49-55).

We ended the last section with Tulkinghorn getting shot. That was fun. So now we have to figure out who shot him.

First suspect, apparently is George. George goes to a lovely birthday dinner at the Bagnets and then Bucket joins and is all nice and gets everyone to like him and then BAM, as soon as they leave the Bagnets' Buckets slaps the cuffs on George. At least he was nice enough to not ruin their lovely chicken dinner, which is apparently saved for very special occasions.
It is well for the old girl that she has but one birthday in a year, for two such indulgences in poultry might be injurious.
I'm trying to think nice things about Bucket cos I know everyone liked him when he showed up before, but it's NOT WORKING when he pretends to be George's BFF just to arrest him.

Bucket, probably

It's cool though because Mrs. Bagnet is going to save George and I wish the story had focused more on them being adorable and kick ass.

There is a rift between Ada and Esther and DO NOT LIKE. Esther thinks it's because she told Ada about her engagement to Mr. Jarndyce but it turns out it's because Ada and Richard got secretly married and she doesn't want to get secrets from Esther. All I hear is "We both are going to/have married people that aren't each other and thus the universe is sad."

Bucket goes to Sir Leicester's and lets himself in with his own key. They seem to give a lot of keys out to the house. We know Bucket is married, but given his conversation with the man-servant Mercury, we can guess that marriage is a sham right?

Mr. Bucket is presently standing before the hall-fire - bright and warm on the early winter night - admiring Mercury.
"Why, you're six foot two, I suppose?" says Mr. Bucket.
"Three," says Mercury.
"Are you so much? But then, you see, you're broad in proportion and don't look it. You're not one of the weak-legged ones, you ain't. Was you ever modelled now?" Mr. Bucket asks, conveying the expression of an artist into the turn of his eye and head.
Mercury never was modelled.
"Then you out to be, you know," says Mr. Bucket

Sure, Bucket. Whatever you say.

Bucket is that creepy guy trolling malls telling girls he totally has an in with a modeling company.

Bucket tells Sir Leicester that he arrested George even though he knows it wasn't actually George that committed the crime (still not winning me over) and that it was actually a woman and then lots of people come in and they fill Leicester in that Lady Dedlock used to be Nemo/Captain Hawdon's lover and that Mrs. Chadband raised Lady D's daughter and Mrs. Snagsby complains that everyone is against her.

Then we get another instance when Bucket pretends to be a super nice guy, this time to Hortense who he and his wife have taken in as a lodger, only to jump out and arrest HER. Of course Hortense was trying to frame Lady D so at least this time he got it right. Still though, you need to pretend to be friends with everyone before arresting them?

Also is anyone surprised Hortense was arrested? Or just surprised she didn't kill via stabbing?

Lady D finds out from Guppy that her secret is out so she decides to run away.

Will Esther end up with Woodcourt? Is Jarndyce going to be heartbroken? Will Esther and Ada end up together, as they're clearly supposed to? Will Esther and Lady D reunite but for real this time? ONE MORE WEEK.

Title quote from location 12794

Dickens, Charles. Bleak House. Amazon Digital Services. Originally published 1853. Kindle edition.

Interposed between her and the fading light of day in the quiet street, his shadow falls upon her, and he darks all before her.

I need to start this with a confession: I totally forgot to write this post. Or I mean, I didn't totally forget it cos if I did, you wouldn't be reading anything right now. But so far I've been doing my Bleak House reading and finishing it in time to write my post over the weekend and just have it ready. Except this time I'm writing it Monday night because I forgot to write it this weekend. This also means additional time has passed between my reading and writing this, so this might make even less sense than the other posts. Sorry about that.

ANYWAY, thank you Alice for hosting this because despite my inability to plan for things if my weekly schedule is disturbed in the slightest.

Bleak House chapters XL through XLVIII (we're now at the point with Roman numerals where I have no idea what the chapter numbers are).

Tulkinghorn is being an asshole. But at this point I can just say "Tulkinghorn is" because the rest is repetitive. He tells Sir Leister a TOTALLY HYPOTHETICAL story about some aristocratic lady who was once engaged to some captain guy and got pregnant but the guy died before they could rush a wedding and she had a child out of wedlock. The lady managed to keep shame a secret until she made a stupid mistake and then EVERYONE HATED HER. Then he looks knowingly at Lady D, cos again, asshole.

Lady D confronts him up in his turret lair, and says she's ready to leave so she doesn't bring shame on her husband. Tulkinghorn convinces her not to and says he'll give her some warning before he reveals her secret and ruins her life.

This probably happened too.

Hortense comes back and is really the crazy is going to bubble over soon. She wants to help Tulkinghorn destroy Lady D. Tulkinghorn doesn't want to work with her, I have to assume in part because of the crazy.

We get to see Chez Skimpole and he continues to be a terrible terrible person. I guess if we're looking for good things to say about him, his daughters like him. Of course he sort of treats them like dolls so bad in the negative column. His house is falling apart, probably because he's such a child and THIS SHIT ISN'T CUTE OR WHIMSICAL. Except no one seems to call him on it, except all of these poor shopkeepers he keeps ripping off.

Sir Leicester shows up to tell Mr. Jarndyce, Esther, and Ada that he's sorry he hates their friend Boythorn so much but that they are ABSOLUTELY welcome to come visit, and Lady D even likes Mr. Jarndyce. Of course he also tells Skimpole he can come visit and I feel like that is bringing and expensive curse over to Chesney Wold but since I don't care so much about Leicester, that's fine.

We get LOTS of revelations in this section. Esther tells Jarndyce her (and Lady D's) secret. And Jarndyce reveals that Lady D's sister (and Esther's fake Godmother) was Boythorn's old lov-ah and that after Lady D and Lady D-sis got in a fight she broke things of with Boythorn. THEN Jarndyce proposes to Esther (in a letter) and Esther says yes.

The proposal makes Esther cry and NOT happy tears, and she burns all of the flowers from Woodcourt because she won't need those anymore. Because love is dead. And she's also forgetting about Ada, her true love. I guess she figures she'll still get that. I mean, she's going in and stealing kisses from her while she sleeps.

Richard is in all kinds of trouble and is looking haggard and has lots of debt cos he's all obsessed with the J&J case. I dunno, I sort of don't care about Richard anymore. Sorry, Rick. BUT while Esther is visiting Richard she sees Woodcourt and she doesn't know what to do with herself cos she wants to see him but she's ugly now (and also engaged to an old guy [Jarndyce is old, right?]). BUT she does go see him and Woodcourt says he'll watch out for Richard.

Jo comes back! Granted  the poor guy shows up again after being tackled by Woodcourt. And he's all sick and he says he was taken from Bleak House. When he's hiding a George's, George assumes it's Bucket that did it to bring Jo to Tulkinghorn for EVIL REASONS. Then because things weren't depressing enough in Jo's life, we see a touching moment between him and Snagsby and then Jo dies. Because of course he does. Dammit, Dickens.

Lady D dismisses Rosa and sends her with Mr. Rouncewell so she can be with Rouncewell's son and that was nice. Tulkinghorn makes it all about him and is all annoyed that this is going to raise suspicions and now says he WON'T warn her before he's going to ruin her life.

BUT THEN the section ends with Tulkinghorn being shot.

So. Problem solved. BUT WHO IS THE SHOOTER? And does anyone have a death count for this book, cos I feel like it's pretty high.

Title quote from location 11,189

Dickens, Charles. Bleak House. Amazon Digital Services. Originally published 1853. Kindle edition.

The one great principle of the English law is to make business for itself

Another Tuesday means another Bleak House post. Thank you Alice for hosting and also for spreading out the reading some more because we're all whiners.

Now, to the random thoughts about chapters XXXIII - XXXIX

Guppy's first name is William. Weevle/Jobling's first name is Tony. And they have an adorable "And then Guppy said "Who are YOU conspiring with?" And then Jobling retorts "Nuh huh!" And then HE said "well I won't take you to the spring fling*" and then I said "Well I'm going with Prince, so WHO CARES" and then they broke up and it was on the quad and everyone saw.

George gave Tulkster the Hawdon handwriting sample because something debts for the Bagnets. I'm not entirely sure who the Bagnets are. I know they have hilariously named children and now I know they were in debt but aren't now because George made a minor deal with...not the devil but one of the lesser demons. Sorry, George. You seem very nice but your chapters are boring.

Esther is all disfigured by smallpox (at least enough that Charley hid all of the mirrors) BUT not blind anymore so there's that. She then admits that she believes Woodcourt loves her (yeah, thanks for that, couldn't have guessed) but she's very happy that they didn't get engaged cos now she's all ugly and that would be unfair to him.

I'd find this more tragic but now she can 100% go after Ada. Cos Ada won't care about any scarring. Because LOVE.

Are there interpretations of Bleak House that don't talk about Esther being super in love with Ada? If so, how the hell do they argue that? I mean, other than badly.

The Lady D and Esther reunion was...anticlimactic. Dickens take 3 chapters to describe fog, but we get maybe 3 pages for the entire "I'm your mother!" "Of course you are! I love you, mother!" "I love you too. But we may never speak again. I must be dead to you because of my reputation." "Of course! Because I love you so much I shall keep your secret." "OK. Bye then." "Bye."

What the hell? He describes them as sobbing and hugging each other and kissing and it seems emotional except the whole thing happens in a heartbeat and why did we speed right through that scene?

Richard is being a jerk now, all wrapped up in the Jarndyce case. And yet I still didn't really mind him, until it was revealed he's been hanging out with Skimpole. No Richard. No. You've crossed the line now.

Guppy agrees to quit digging into Esther's past in a scene that's sort of adorable when he keeps oscillating between talking to her and running back to the house. But then you remember the creepy stalking and go back to thinking he should just go away now.

Grandfather Smallwood is digging through Krook's things, and Tulkinghorn is lurking in Nemo/Hawdon/Weevle's apartment making vague threats at Guppy. All this stuff about Tulkinghorn collecting secrets. He's Magnassen, right? I bet he's flicking faces too. The jerk.

What will Tulkinghorn do with this information? Is he going to reveal Lady D's past? Or use the information to get something from her? What does he want? Is Richard going to keep being a dick (HA) about this J&J case? Will Esther and Ada finally just get together already omg??

*Why yes, Mean Girls was on TV when I was taking some of my notes.

At least there's only one new character in this section
Mr. Vholes - Richard's lawyer to help with the J&J case. Vholes whines a lot about how he does everything for his daughters. Also is very respectable because he has bad digestion and apparently those go together. Comments about how solid his commitment is by banging on a hollow desk, so...

Title quote from location 9397

Dickens, Charles. Bleak House. Amazon Digital Services. Originally published 1853. Kindle edition.

My Lady, whose chronic malady of boredom has been sadly aggravated by Volumnia this evening

Another Tuesday, another Bleak House post. Thanks, Alice, for hosting this readalong/BleakAlong. Good times and hilarious gifs.

Much like my last post, this is going to be a series of random thoughts, which means it will be a mess. Enjoy.

Mr. Tulkinghorn has Mr. Snagsby come to his turret and is acting all shifty, as he is best at. There's some guy lurking in the shadows that Tulkinghorn introduces as Mr. Bucket. Poor Snagsby has gotten into something and it doesn't seem like he really understands what. They drag Jo into this mystery, and poor Jo. Can't you just leave him alone? He's so nice, getting medicine for the two women Esther and Ada saw in the first section. Anyway, they show him some lady and ask if this is the person who asked Jo all about the dead guy and he says the person is dressed the same but the hand and voice aren't the same so they figure out it was Lady D asking Jo all these questions about Nemo while dressed as Hortense. DUN DUN DUUUUUN

Richard has negative money because of his awesome financial skills. He could learn something from Confessions of a Shopaholic. Just saying. Maybe the Army will be a better career for him.

Caddy and Prince (hehe) asks Esther to come with them while they tell their parents about their engagement because EVERYONE LOVES ESTHER. Except I'm starting to get suspicious about how much everyone loves and respects and needs her, if only because this is being told from Esther's point of view. Maybe she is this nice and sweet, but given she thinks she is so not you'd think if she's repeating people talking about how awesome she is all the time she'd caveat it. But she does not. So Esther, I'm watching you...

Mr. Jarndyce gets Charley as a maid for Esther which yay for Charley getting a better life, although now she doesn't get to see her siblings anymore, so that's sad. Also Hortense really wanted to be Esther's maid, so now that Charley is I fear for her life as well as Rosa's.

Richard and Ada decide to dissolve their engagement because...reasons. Well I guess the reasons are Jarndyce tells them to cos Richard is getting involved in the J&J case and also will be living in Ireland. But I dunno.

The reasons seem flimsy and also serves to remind me that the two are cousins. But it's cool cos this means Ada is single again so ESTHER GET IN THERE. (I may be skeptical of Esther's opinion of herself, but that doesn't mean I don't want her and Ada to get together.)

Mrs. Rachel, the person who was so cruel to Esther as a kid (in the "not really caring about her and not having a hard time saying good-bye" and not "beating and feeding gruel" cruelness) is now Mrs. Chadband. Somehow she knows the Snagsby's. Speaking of them, Mrs. Snabsby thinks Jo is Mr. Snagsby's son since they've been acting suspicious. I hope things go all Maury in this story.

Captain Hawdon, who I believe was one of Mrs. Badger's ex-husbands is apparently NOT dead. At least that's the assumption of Grandpa Smallweed. Tulkinghorn wants a sample of Hawdon's handwriting, which he thinks George has. But George won't give it to him, because Tulkinghorn is shady as hell.

Lady Dedlock's housekeeper's son comes to talk to Sir & Lady D about the fact that his son is in love with Rosa and wants to marry her. He will give consent ONLY if Rosa stops work at Chesney Wold (which I keep reading as "Chesney World" so I picture the place as sort of a crappy amusement park) cos he wants her to be better educated. Sir D is all insulted cos she went to one of his (crappy) schools. Looks like another engagement is going to be broken up.

GUPPY IS BLACKMAILING LADY D to prove that Esther is related to Lady D. Ugh, this guy. But we do learn that apparently Esther's original last name was Hawdon like that dead-not-dead guy. Except then back to dead since that was apparently Nemo's last name AND that Esther is Lady D's daughter, who she thought was dead.

Caddy gets married and her little brother Peepys bites Prince. Highlight of the wedding.

JO IS SICK. Esther brings Jo back to Bleak House and Mr. Skimpole tried to get her to throw him out because he's a terrible person. But Esther and Jarndyce do not listen to Skimpole because they are not terrible people. But they do put him in the stable cos they're only so nice. Then he runs away in the night.

Charley gets sick and almost dies. Then Esther gets super sick and GOES BLIND. And is mostly upset because she's been quarantined from everyone, but mostly Ada who she lovingly watches from the window. And Ada keeps trying to get into the sick room but Esther won't let her. BECAUSE OF LOVE

Esther's other condition

Mr. Jobling aka Weevle is acting really suspicious because everyone is suspicious. But now he's acting suspicious towards Guppy, which I think is good suspicious.

Title quote from location 6760

You'd think Dickens would be done giving us characters. But he is not. New characters, or at least ones briefly introduced in the previous chapters that get some more description.

Smallweed family: Grandpa is crazy. Hilariously crazy. Probably because all of the kids are miserable and sad and DON'T KNOW HOW TO LAUGH. I'm sure they grew up in a similar way and it's not too surprising that makes you crazy. Crazy or a serial killer. Poor little Charley worked for these people before becoming Esther's maid.

George: Owns shooting gallery. Owes money/visits with the Smallweeds a lot.

Phil: Guy at George's Shooting Gallery

Mr. Bucket: Detective. Friend of Mr. Tulkinghorn so I'm pretty sure it should be "detective." NATURALLY not to be trusted

Gridley: Had violent outburst in the Army and ran away and is now in hiding at the shooting gallery. Dies while talking to Flite.

Bagnet family: They don't seem to have much to do with the story at the moment, but their kids have hilarious names so I needed to record: Quebec, Malta, Woolwich.

Volumnia Dedlock: HOW GREAT IS THIS NAME? She's Sir D's cousin and I don't remember much more about her than that. I got distracted by the name.

Mr. Rouncewell: Mrs. Rouncewell's son. Doesn't want Rosa to work for Lady D if Rosa and his son get married. Insults Sir D, so that's fun.

Mrs. Woodcourt: Comes to stay at Bleak House and annoy Esther. Maybe Esther's future mom-in-law (if she ends up with Mr. Woodcourt instead of Ada).

Miss Whisk: Mr. Quayle's fiancee and talks about how insisting women stay in the domestic sphere is TERRIBLE and I like her a lot. Even if I think we're supposed to find her ridiculous.

Dickens, Charles. Bleak House. Amazon Digital Services. Originally published 1853. Kindle edition.

In the matter of gravy he is adamant

Another Tuesday which means MORE BLEAK HOUSE! Thank you, Alice, for hosting this readalong. Good times, good times.

This post, like all my readalong posts, is going to be a mess. I took some notes while reading, so this is going to be all over the place. Apologies.

I am still having a hard time getting into the third person narration bits. I can't focus. I'm pretty sure in the middle of these the narrator could go "And this is the answer to every mystery in the rest of the super long book. I can say that here because you're not even paying attention. And I know you're not. Because I'm going to write several more chapters about fog, and probably one about a puddle near the court house." Actually, that would be hilarious. I did notice they tried to sneak some Dr. Seuss-ness in these chapters. So maybe Dickens figured he couldn't get away with the "mystery solved" thing, but weird rhyming was fine.

Mr. Tulkinghorn continues to not do anything directly bad, but still makes me suspicious with his whole showing up at Chesney Wold unannounced and just wandering up to his room in a tower, and him and Lady Dedlock making "I have secrets and you know them" eyes at each other.

Richard can't decide what he wants to be when he grows up and part of me wants to yell at him to make a decision and then I remember how young he is and I want to yell at everyone to CALM DOWN. He'll be fine. Except for the whole "spending lots of money" thing. Maybe he will get to be a pirate.

Sherlock would approve

Mr. Guppy continues to be super creepy. And Esther feeling like she can't do anything about her stalker makes me very sad.

You know what else makes me sad? Ada telling Esther about how in love she is with Richard and Esther all tries to be strong about it but instead watches her while she sleeps and gives her kisses and it's creepy but also sweet and sad. At least they're planning on having the three of them live together after Ada and Richard are married. So that's sweet.

Mr. Guppy has been giving Miss Flite money and paying for her rent. What is your end game, Guppy??

Hey, remember when we all decided we didn't like Skimpole cos he sucks and is a mooch, but we weren't sure if Dickens wants us to like him or not? Then do you remember the part where he talks about how he's a fan of the slaves in America because they add decoration to the landscape, even if they "don't like it that much". Yeaaaaahh...

Jo, the guy that was sad about Nemo's death and lives in a super depressing neighborhood, takes some lady (Lady Dedlock YES PROBABLY) around to see areas connected to Nemo's death.

Mr. Boythorn put up adorably threatening signs for Sir Leicester to look at over their disputed piece of property. I'm liking Boythorn more and more. Please don't turn out to be Fosco.

Esther thinks looking at Lady Dedlock is like looking in a mirror and WHHHAAAAA? And then she has the same voice. But she won't look at her. Hmmmm. So, they're related? Sekritly?

Mr. Jobling takes over Nemo's old room at Krook's and is very upset that Nemo had the audacity to die in Jobling's (soon to hopefully be) room. THE NERVE of some people.

And that's roughly where we're at. Richard is being indecisive about jobs but not about how he loves Ada. Esther still loves Ada but also keeps cutting off on telling us things and WHAT ARE YOU HIDING, LADY? She also sees herself in Lady Dedlock and Hmmm?? Then we need to know what's going on with the Guppy Gang and why are they renting that room from Krook and working for Snagsby and what's going on there? Will Boythorn and Leicester ever make up? (That would be sweet, but I sort of hope not.) What's up with Hortense? Think she's going to murder Rosa in her sleep? Who was Nemo?

New Characters. Because of course there are a million of them and Alice was right about that whole "you need a character list" thing.
Hortense - Lady Dedlock's...some lady who is French and has a tight face and is jealous of Rosa. Also has pretty good reason to be pissed at Lady Dedlock after she makes her walk home in the rain.

Mr. & Mrs. Badger - take Richard in to apprentice surgery? I think I understood that correctly. Be an apprentice surgeon on a boat. The most important thing about them is both Mr. & Mrs. (but mostly Mr) Badger are super into Mrs. Badger's previous husbands. So they're fun.

Mr. Turveydrop, the junior - Miss Jellyby's secret fiance, LOVES TO DANCE.

Also his first name is Prince.

Mr. Turveydrop, the senior - Real fancy guy. Spends all his money on fancy clothes and being seen in fancy places. So, he's pretty much the Victorian equivalent of a Real Housewife. I'm sure there are wine fueled drunken rages and old timey plastic surgery as well.

Mr. Woodcourt - "Dark surgeon" who was hanging out at dinner with the Bleak House Crew (BHC) and the Badgers, but we didn't pay attention to him cos everyone is too busy focused on how awesome Mrs. Badger's previous husbands were.

Mr. Quale - Someone I should probably know more about. I don't, though. Follows around Pardiggle talking about how great charities are. Friends with Guppy. Don't trust.

Mr. Gusher - See Quale. Not as in they are the same person but more as in that's all I know about the guy.

Neckette family - SUPER SAD STORY about the debt collector that kept visiting Skimpole. He died and left behind 3 small children. The oldest, 13, has to go to work while the 5 year old watches the baby and they live in a tiny cold room and dammit Dickens, must you keep it up with the orphans?

Jo - Another orphan kid. He showed up in the last section but I didn't know he'd come up again. He knew Nemo and was super sad when he died. He lives in a place called Toms-all-alone and it's depressing.

Mr. Smallwood - See Quale and Gusher. *Update* via Megs. Looks like a depressed monkey

Mr. Jobling - See Quale, Gusher, and Smallwood. I should know more about these guys probably. I know they eat a lot of food and are UNTRUSTWORTHY.

Title quote location 4755

Dickens, Charles. Bleak House. Amazon Digital Services. Originally published 1853. Kindle edition.

She regards a ghost as one of the privileges of the upper classes

Welcome to the first post of the Bleak House readalong hosted by Alice! I was so in the mood for a readalong because one, my reading habits since December have been...lacking. And two, I have found many GIFs that need shared with the (book blogging) world so good timing.

I know we're not really doing an intro post BUT I do have a confession before I dive right in.

Every time I say "Bleak House" in my head, I sing it to the tune of Brick House. I feel like this is the wrong tone for the book. Probably. Although maybe Dickens will surprise me.

Alice said we should create character lists. Which sounds like a super smart thing to do and something that I knew I wasn't going to. I am not nearly coordinated enough/have enough space to be taking notes while reading on the subway. This also means I keep mixing up character names. After reading the first 11 chapters, here's the character list I've come up with, which will also serve as my post, cos man are there a lot of characters.

Lady Dreadlock: Yes, I'm aware it's actually Dedlock but I kept saying "Dreadlock," which led to a fun character visual so it's staying.

Getty Images

Let's see, what do I know about her? She is married some some guy and was bored in this big house so she went to another house and commented on some handwriting.

Mr. Tulkinghorn: Dreadlock's old fashioned lawyer guy, whom I do not trust. He seems sketchy.

Esther: Girl with really depressing childhood cos its a Dickens book. I mean, come on, a little kid is told that their birthday is the saddest day of the year and her godmother (who is actually HER AUNT and I bet that will be important at some point) tells her she wishes she was never born. I want to like more cos she's the narrator and all but she's sort of boring and REALLY just wants to please everyone. Especially Ada. Because she loves her.

Ada: Lady who has something to do with this Jarndyce case (which I really don't understand, but I think that might be the point) and also sorta loves EstherAlso loves her cousin Rick, who I'm hoping is a distant cousin. I don't know much about her yet. She's as interesting as Esther.

Richard: Except people keep calling him Rick, so let's go with that. Also part of this Jarndyce case...somehow. None of them (Esther, Ada, Rick) seem to know exactly what's going on, but hey, a place to live. That's cool. He loves his (again hopefully distant) cousin Ada. And people seem to want them to get together. Except Esther probably doesn't. He has some ideas about money that match mine, which means they aren't great.

Mr. Guppy: Guy I really liked at first when they described his technicolor neckerchief but then got all creepy with his aggressive engagement proposal to Esther. I'm sure there are reasons for his sudden proposal that comes after all of meeting her two times and also she doesn't know who you are and also, Ada.

Mr. Guppy, pretty much

The Jellybelly family: I know it's actually Jellybys but please see my "dreadlock" reasoning. The matriarch is REALLY into doing...something for Africa. Charity I think. The whole house is a mess because she's so focused on writing all these letters. Except she actually just dictates and her daughter writes. The husband is meek and doesn't really do anything and I don't know why HE can't just take care of the house if he's not doing anything else. But instead I think we're supposed to hate her cos she's putting her other work before her family/housework.

Mr. John Jarndyce: I keep calling him Jaundice guy. He must have something to do with the Jarndyce and Jarndyce lawsuit (try not to be too impressed by my detective skills) and he sends Esther to this school after her godmother/aunt dies before having her move to his house and be his housekeeper. He also has his cousins (everyone is a cousin) Ada and Richard. I think I like him. Really focused on the way the wind is blowing.

Harold Skimpole: Hehe, skinpole. Anyway, he's sort of an ass. He seems all nice and fun and not concerned with things like working himself to death but instead wants to enjoy the little things. Things he also enjoys: not paying any attention to his money so when he's about to get in trouble for his debt he makes other people pay it. Cos he's so childish, you see, and children don't deal with money and shut up, jerk. Esther and Richard pay off his debt and then Jarndyce laughs at them and pays them back and makes them promise not to give him anymore money.

Mrs. Rouncewell: Housekeeper at Lady Dreadlock's boring house. Has a son who is an engineer and thinks being an engineer is a FAILURE and I think I'm going to have to send some quotes to my (engineer) brother. Tells a story about how the boring house is actually haunted by some rich lady that walks back and forth all the time. Not the scariest ghost, so I guess I see why Dreadlock thinks the place is boring.

Mrs. Pardiggle: Like Mrs. Jellybelly, in that she's a lady obsessed with her charity work and also her family hates her. In this case her family seems to have a point cos she is very brash and she keeps dragging her 5 kids with her and taking all of their allowance money to give to different causes. She drags her sons along with Ada and Esther to this bricklayer's house. He beats his wife and he drinks all the time and his kids are flithy and they all hate Pardiggle, who insists on reading the Bible to them.

Here's Mrs. Pardiggle

Boythorn: A friend of Jarndyce. He's fun and loud and has a pet bird that sits on him. He hates Lady Dedlock's family.

Mr. & Mrs. Snagsby: Law writer guy and his wife. They hire people to copy law stuff. Things that you would do before copy machines were invented.

Krook: Guy that owns this shop that seems to only buy things but not sell them, which seems like a bad business model. Also rents out some rooms, including one to this old lady that seems crazy but might also know what's going on with the J&J case.

Miss Flitt: Crazy lady that seems to know about the lawsuit.

Nemo: Means "NO ONE" as Tulkinghorn deduces and is found dead in one of Krook's rooms from an opium overdose.

So. What is this J&J case? What's with the dead body at the end? What is Mr. Tulkinghorn up to? What was up with Guppy's proposal? Will Esther quit being boring and going on about how awesome she is at housekeeping and making kids like her? WE SHALL SEE!

Title quote from location 1588

Dickens, Charles. Bleak House. Amazon Digital Services. Originally published 1853. Kindle edition.

Why *is* a door-nail the deadest piece of ironmongery?

In honor of the Christmas season I've decided to read Dickens' A Christmas Carol.  I have a nice copy of the book with the full illustrations I got years and years ago and I'm sure it's somewhere safe.  I just don't know where that safe place is.  Instead I am reading it on my iPod.  Awhile back, when I was first looking into eReaders, I downloaded the Kindle and iBooks apps, along with 1 free book each, to see what I thought of them.  A Christmas Carol happened to be my Kindle buy so this worked out nicely.  And reading on my iPod isn't as bad as I assumed it would be.  The screen is small but it doesn't bother me too much while I'm actually reading.  I'll still take a real book over reading on this screen though.

My favorite adaptation.

I'm not going to review the book because what am I going to say that hasn't been said a million times far more eloquently than I could put it.  I won't bother describing the plot because even if you've never read the book you've seen one of the thousands of adaptations of it I'm sure.  Perhaps if you live in a mud hut you've managed to escape all of them, but then again you're most likely lacking internet as well, which means you aren't reading this.  Instead I'll talk about the humor of the story, which I think a lot of the adaptations ignore.  They might be funny in a different way, but I think most miss the humor of the original.  Except for A Muppet Christmas Carol which uses a lot of direct quotes from the story PLUS singing Muppets! Which is why it's my favorite Christmas movie.

What surprised me the first time I really read and paid attention to A Christmas Carol was how funny it is.  The first few pages are my favorite of the book.  Sure it's mostly Dickens going off on a tangent about door-nails and coffin-nails but I love it.  For those unfamiliar with the details of this opening, here they are:

"Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail.  Mind! I don't mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a door-nail.  I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade.  But the wisdom of our ancestors is in the simile; and my unhallowed hands shall not disturb it, or the Country's done for."

 I probably find this so funny because I could see myself musing on a topic like this and then losing track of what I was originally talking about while I was on my coffin vs door nail argument.  And a coffin nail does make way more sense as the most dead piece of iron.  What's so dead about a door?  Is it more dead than a window?  What if it's a door to a morgue?  Still has lots of live people going through it while the coffin is just full of dead people.  And I'll get off my tangent now.

I like the early parts of the book the best because it's when Scrooge is the nastiest and the most fun to watch.  Sure I want him to be saved and become nice but he's fun to watch when he's a crotchety old man and I love him talking with Marley.  When confronted with the ghost he tells him that he's just a figment of indigestion and if he wanted to he could swallow a toothpick and then have a legion of goblins. Scrooge makes puns in a situation where I would have cowered under the covers. 

So those are my admittedly not-very-deep reasons for liking this book so much.  For those that have read it or are at least familiar with the adaptations, why do you like or hate this story?

The title is at least in relation to the quote I used earlier.  I'm not exactly sure how to get page numbers off this Kindle app but it lists the location as 9-12.  If that means anything to you, super.  It doesn't to me.