Friday, November 27, 2015

Mommy Wars are all about who can out-mom their neighbor

Hope all those that celebrate had a good Thanksgiving and have lots of leftovers. Even those who don't celebrate, I hope you ate lots of good food because food is delicious.
Anyway, onto the review. I picked up People I Want To Punch In The Throat because, hello, that title is amazing and there are many people I would like to punch in the throat as well. Plus is on sale and I love sales. I didn't realize this was originally a mommy blog that was bad into a book. I mean, I knew it was a blog but didn't realize the mommy part of it. Which is FINE and just that I was expecting other people she wants to punch in the face, but I will take annoying judgy suburban moms, even if that's it. Mostly because they are one of my fears of ever having kids myself.*

Much of the time when I read a book based on a blog I think "I could have just read this for free online" and I still sort of think that with this book. But since this wasn't a blog I followed prior to picking this up (and not one I've started following, but more because I have enough trouble keeping up with the blogs I follow now and don't need to add more to that list unless they're AMAZING) I didn't feel like I spent money to read a bunch of posts I've already read. It felt like reading a blog, in that each of the essays were related (in that they involved the same people) but were each free-standing stories about some aspect of dealing with obnoxious people.

The book is funny. I like Mann's sense of humor so even if she is writing about something that isn't necessarily all that unique, at least it's entertaining. And it's not ALL about parenting. A few parts are about when she and her husband first got together (they met online in the early days of the internet when everyone was still dial-up) but yeah, the majority is about Mann failing to live up to the standards of other suburban moms in terms of keeping the house clean, signing the kids up for the "right" extracurricular activities, etc.

Would you like some quotes from the book, to get an idea of her style? (Or, I guess you could just go to her blog, but that doesn't give me much to talk about here.)
On setting up a cleaning chart for her and her husband: He argued that he didn't have much "experience" cleaning toilets or mopping floors (as if I'd put myself through college working as a janitor or something) and didn't think he'd do a very good job...As you might imagine, that conversation didn't go very well. I think it ended with me saying to the love of my life something along the lines of: Go fuck yourself, Hubs. I'm sorry you're such a delicate flower, but I'm not built for domesticity any more than you are."
On finding after school activities for her daughter: Cheerleading was not a hit: "What am I doing here, Mommy? I'm freezing cold and I'm cheering for a bunch of boys to win a game! Who cheers for me? (Exactly, Adolpha. Exactly.)
On dealing with pain in the ass people: I always say "excuse me" even though I heard perfectly well what the person said. I feel that by saying "excuse me," I'm giving them a chance to realize they're being an asshole, and they can change their attitude for the second attempt. 
Gif rating:
*I understand how selfish that fear is but that's the type of selfish I get to be cos I don't have kids. SO MANY FEARS

Title from page 170, location 2306

Mann, Jen. People I Want To Punch In The Throat. Ballantine Books, 2014. Kindle