This isn't a review. Obviously

Hi everyone.

I'm writing this cos I feel like I should write something else. I have my Villette posts which THANK GOD because one, that readalong is hilarious, but also because I need to have something where I have to do a post. Because it's been a while since I actually wrote a review. I was really hoping to get one this week and yeah, that's just not going to happen. It's April (as you may have noticed) which is the month after quarter close, which at work means OMG WE NEED MONTHLY AND QUARTERLY REPORTS PULLED RIGHT NOW! AND ALSO ALL OF THESE LAST MINUTE REQUESTS THAT WE KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE TIME FOR BUT I NEED IT ANYWAY KTHXBAI.

If I were to try to write a review right now, it would come out roughly as coherent as that paragraph above. But you know what? Let's keep me honest and see what I have in the queue to review. (Ha that rhymes. I...I need more sleep.)

Naked by David Sedaris - funny essays. Nothing that is really standing outright now, but that's roughly how I remember his other stuff. I like it then forget it. I'd still read more.

California by Eden Lepucki - I would die in an apocalypse. I mean, I knew that already, but this book really drives home that point. There were multiple points of view, which I looooove and did not go the way I expected.

Blindness by Jose Saramago - The book has a style that takes some getting used to, since it's pretty much one long run-on sentence with no quotes so figuring out when someone is talking takes some time. BUT it's an interesting story, and well-written, even if it involves a lot of feces.

The Partly Cloudy Patriot by Sarah Vowell - This is a lot like Naked in that it's a bunch of funny essays that I remember enjoying at the time but can't think of any now. But it was good.

The House Girl by Tara Conklin - This was...disappointing. It wasn't terrible. It just wasn't that good. The fact that I was reading this at the same time as Villette probably didn't help because even when Villette drives me nuts, I can appreciate how well-written it is. And by contrast...

Man I have my work cut out for me. It will happen! I will get all caught up. At some point this year. Probably. Now if you'll excuse me

Lucy, I wonder if anybody will ever comprehend you altogether

Here we are, the second to last week with Villette. Thank you, Alice, for hosting this readalong shindig! Now, let's see where our optimistic, ray-of-sunshine Lucy Snowe has found herself.

It Mme Beck is now conspiring to get M. Paul and Lucy together even though ugh, I'm sorry. I am not on the bandwagon though Megs did make a pretty good case for him and Lucy last week.

Mme Beck sends Lucy off on a series of errands, the last one leads her to a house where she has to give a basket of fruit to an angry old lady who wants Mme Beck to know she can buy her own damn fruit. This would have been the end were it not for a fortuitous thunderstorm that kept Lucy in the house, where she met up with that Catholic priest she had confession with earlier in the book, who told her a story about a wonderful, virtuous man who was in love with this woman (Justine Marie) who died after the woman's family forbid her to marry the guy cos he was poor, so she went to a convent and I guess things didn't work out for her.

But then, cruel irony, her family lost all their money and the man had been SO IN LOVE with Justine Marie that he took care of them. He also agreed to never marry again. And that man is...M. Paul!!

I mean, you can kind of guess that early on because it seems like the type of revelation that would happen. And Lucy doesn't seem nearly as shocked as I feel like she should be with this revelation, but that's likely because she spent a lot of time talking about how weird Romanists are, so it's possible she missed chunks of the priest's story.

Remember how both Lucy and M. Paul saw the ghost nun that one night, so we can be pretty sure that Lucy isn't just crazy? Well, M. Paul thinks it's the ghost of Justine Marie come to haunt Lucy cos now he's in love with Lucy and she's jealous. This...CB, we should really have spent more time here cos THIS is a crazy story.

Anyway, Lucy tells M. Paul that she knows the story (though M. Paul seems more concerned that the story has been titled "The Priest's Pupil" which he thinks is a dumb name) and then says that he will never marry but they could be friends. Like really close friends. Like really close, intimate friends.

After this suggestion, the two of them quit talking to each other for days. Apparently this "friends...you know, friends..." arrangement made things super awkward for everyone. Also the priest got involved and he is NOT down with this. Or her. Cos heathen.

The priest starts leaving Lucy religious tracts. Lucy isn't going to convert anytime soon, but she at least seems amused with them. In her own way:

I remember one capital inducement to apostacy was held out in the fact that the Catholic who had lost dear friends by death could enjoy the unspeakable solace of praying them out of purgatory. The writer did not touch on the firmer peace of those whose belief dispenses with purgatory altogether.

Point well-made, Lucy.

There is a fair amount about the church and religion and all in this section that I don't understand nearly well enough to speak to, so I will let someone smarter tackle that. Instead, we'll jump over to Polly and Graham who have been doing their scandalous letter-writing.

Lucy is over Graham but still doesn't want to hear Polly gushing about him, and shuts that right up in sort of a mean way, but since that's her style everyone seems used to it.

Mr. Home corners Lucy to ask what he should do about this relationship that is very obvious to everyone, despite how secret Polly and Graham think they're being. Mr. Home doesn't want Polly to marry anyone. Ever. Which is both a bit creepy and also sweet. Lucy tries to tell him that at SOME point someone is going to want to marry her, look at the way all those people were drooling over her at the party, and it may as well be someone Mr. Home knows and respects instead of someone else. I mean, she could end up with someone French. Could you even imagine? But after a lot of arguing, Mr. Home says he's cool with the match and the two of them get married and have a bunch of kids and overall live happily ever after.

I'm disappointed Polly didn't end up being a more interesting character. Or at least do something more interesting. I suppose there's still time. The book isn't over yet. Though now it seems the only plot lines left to tie up are those of Lucy and M. Paul.

Let's see how this all ends.

March Reading Wrap-Up

Another month down! It's my birthday month (and Tom's birthday month) so I'm always a fan of this time. Even if the snow just. keeps. coming. Stop already, with this nonsense. This is the first month I haven't managed to complete my resolution, but I am going to blame Villette for that. Because why take responsibility myself? Don't be silly. Villette would fulfill the resolution criteria except we haven't finished reading it yet. I did finally pick up a copy of Americanah which would be perfect for the resolution. Except it's easier to stick to ebooks while I'm doing the readalong (so I don't have to carry two books with me all the time).

Number of books read
2
The Partly Cloudy Patriot by Sarah Vowell

The House Girl by Tara Conklin

Number of pages read
628

Percentage of fiction read
50%

Percentage of female authors
100% -woo!

Percentage of white authors
100% - whomp

Percentage of US authors
100%

Book formats
ebooks - 50%
paperback - 50%

Percentage of rereads
0%

Percentage of review books
0%

Books written by decade
2000s - 50%

2010s - 50%

Books by genre
Essays - 50%

Historical Fiction - 50%

Resolution books
0%
Not even resolution-lite. Dammit.

Next month. Next month will be better. Hopefully.

When did you ever see me trouble my head about my dignity?

It's Tuesday so we're at week...something in the Villette in March readalong. I am bad at keeping track of things. But even if I don't remember what number post this is, I'm remembering to get them done so good job, me. This week we're discussing chapters 27-33. Thank you, Alice, for hosting this thang.

Last week I had high expectations for this party with Dr. John, Ginevra, Lucy, and Polly all in one place. Even M. Paul was there. And it was not soap opera-y at all. Boo, CB.

Lucy is getting over her crush on Dr. John which, whatever. I am bored with that storyline. Let Dr. John and Polly get together which is what we've been leading up to since the first chapters. Instead Lucy is focusing her interest on M. Paul and going on about how excited she is he's shown up and given such a performance and then she's super awkward around him.

I had plenty of praise in my heart; but alas! no words on my lips. Who has words at the right moment? I stammered some lame expressions; but was truly glad when other people, coming up with profuse congratulations, covered my deficiency by their redundancy.

M. Paul continues to be weird by sneaking up behind her and hissing (Lucy's word) in her ear and unfortunately I don't really know what he said because French class was a long time ago and my free book does not include translations. Lucy called it an insult and given his past behavior, that isn't super surprising.

I know CB is all...

Thanks Alice!

...when it comes to guys, but come on now.

Or Ginevra would be good. Look, then it fits in with above cos she's kind of a pain in the ass and says mean things to Lucy but Lucy regularly seems to fight back. And besides, I think the two of them could balance each other out. Even if Lucy does feel the need to put a pin in her girdle to keep Ginevra to keep from elbowing her. I mean, really, it's sort of adorable.

The rest of this section is mostly focused on M. Paul and Lucy fighting and then making up and then fighting again. They fight over stuff like if her dress was red or pink, and Lucy is VERY ADAMANT it was pink and subdued with black lace and OMG, M. Paul, do you think she's a hussy? M. Paul keeps accusing her of being "too airy and cheery", "too flowery and coloury", so I wonder if he's ever actually met Lucy.

At one point Mr. Paul is very offended because for his birthday (I think it's his birthday) everyone, students at least, give him flowers but Lucy won't. M. Paul gets all bent out of shape, as he does. Starts railing against all things English because if people aren't insulting other races and cultures, why bother? Don't worry, she actually made him something extra special. And not long after she finds him snooping through her stuff, she makes a declaration (to herself) about her feelings for M. Paul: she does not dislike him. Well now.

We get a chapter where it seems like we're actually going to find out about the nun, both M. Paul and Lucy seem to see her but then the chapter ends and in the next two chapters anyway, we don't get more information about this ghost/apparition/creepy lady thing.

Instead we get Polly talking about how Dr. John has been writing her letters and naturally Lucy doesn't approve because of course she doesn't. Then everyone at the school goes to a farm for breakfast and there we are.

Title quote from page 318

Bronte, Charlotte. Villette. Amazon Digital Services. Originally published 1853.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MEEEEEE

Hey you guys, guess what!

IT'S MAH BIRTHDAY!

Last year I was sort of in denial of the whole birthday thing cos I turned 30 and was like "Shit, do I need to be an adult now?" Turns out, no, not really. Well, I guess a little (considering we're working on selling our current place and buying another, which are fairly adult things) but overall not much as changed. 

The other day I was checking mail and saw a package that looked like a book. Except I didn't remember ordering any books. Or winning any books. Or agreeing to review anything. But I also don't have the best memory so really, any of the above was possible. What I assumed definitely didn't happen was that Tom would get me a book cos he's always talking about how I should get rid of some books, considering our shelves are mostly double stacked. Or were before we were prepping for all the open houses. Anyway. The point is, I figured whatever this book was, it wasn't from him.

Obviously, it was from him. Tom found this site called Just the Right Book, a book-of-the-month club where you fill in a profile of what you like, what you don't like, and they pick out books for you. Like StitchFix which I am also a fan of*. The first book is The Husband's Secret by Liane Moriarty and oh, Just the Right Book, aren't you guys clever. So yeah, Tom is pretty great. And there is a surprise tonight, but I don't know what that is yet so I'll have to give you an update later.

Last year I did a giveaway for my birthday and I thought about doing it again, except we're in the middle of 4000 things, what with the whole house buying/selling deal, so I WILL be doing a giveaway, but not till the summer. If I was smart I'd have figured out a giveaway before I packed up all my book. But yeah, I did not do that so now I get to move a bunch of books I'll get rid of as soon as we unpack. See, older and yet no wiser.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ME!

*And if you want to try out StitchFix, which is awesome, oh hey, I have a referral code you could use.

Your old October was only desirable while forbidden

Another Tuesday, another Villette readalong post! And guess what, POLLY IS BACK! I didn't realize how much I missed that weird little kid/baby thing until we spent all this time without her and WTF, where the hell is she?

Before we get to that, Lucy is swinging between being super depressed

I could have cried, so irritated and eager was I to be gone. I longed to leave them as the criminal on the scaffold longs for the axe to descend. 

"But if I feel, may I never express?" "Never!" declared Reason. I groaned under her bitter sternness. 

Better, perhaps, to die quickly a pleasant death than drag on long a charmless life.

And being crazy in love with Dr. John and the letters he writes her

I folded the untasted treasure...feeling as if fairy tales were true and fairy gifts no dream. 

[Mr. John] asked me, smiling, why I cared for his letter so very much. I thought, but did not say, that I prized it like the blood in my veins.

One evening Dr. John invites Lucy to the theater with him when his mom can't make it and you sort of think that means things are going to go forward with these two BUT NO, there is a fire at the theater and a poor woman is hurt in the riot. Being nice people, Lucy and Dr. John help the girl and get her to safety. Who does the girl turn out to be? OH HEY, THERE YOU ARE POLLY.

She's still sort of a weird girl. She's 18 (ish? is that right?) but still acts like a little kid a lot of the time. Lucy is threatened by Polly showing up and tries to quiz her about her feelings for Graham when they were younger. Lucy keeps telling her "But surely you don't remember all of your ridiculous, childish affections from so long ago and Polly won me with her response:

"You think I have forgotten whom I liked, and in what degree I liked them when a child?"
"The sharpness must be gone - the point, the poignancy - the deep imprint must be softened away and effaced?"
"I have a good memory for those days."

But don't worry, Polly likes Lucy. There's no real competition between the two, probably cos Polly doesn't really see Lucy as competition. At least not for Dr. John. Polly's dad, Mr. Home, offers to pay Lucy to hang out with Polly but she turns down the offer because yeah, that's sort of weird and at least she has her (constantly spied on) freedom teaching under Mme Beck. Instead she hangs out with Lucy for free and they start taking German lessons with a lady that could possibly be a hobbit, given her eating habits

[She] habitually consumed, for her first and second breakfast, beer and beef

 This section doesn't quite end with the same dramatic cliffhanger as the earlier sections, but there is something here. While Polly and Lucy are arguing about Polly talking about love (Polly insists she's old enough for this stuff and Lucy says she's going to always be childlike to her so yeah stop that nonsense) Polly says she DOES understand, but she doesn't want to talk about it because you see, there is someone Polly is worried about. Her cousin, Ginevra (DUN DUN DUUUUUN) 

Ginevra says she doesn't really care for the Dr. John anymore. I mean SURE, she says he'll totally still marry her if she'd say yeah, but overall she's bored with the guy. Polly wants to invite all of them over and see if Ginevra is right or Dr. John is really over her. That is a formula for some Telenovelas style hijinks so I AM FOR IT. 

Or more likely, Kimmy Schmidt style dinner party, but I couldn't find a gif of that.

Thank you Alice, for the good times. Our readalongs are the best. Till next week!