She remembers when the word "friend" could draw blood

Hendrix has this ability to write a book that you think is going to be funny. Sure, it says it's going to be scary. But then it has a sort of ridiculous premise (it's a haunted knock-off Ikea! It's '80s nostalgia!) and you're like "whatever scary elements you add, they won't really be that scary because of said ridiculous setting". And that's when he goes "Oh you're right. None of this will ever be scary. You should probably just let your guard down." And then YOU DO and you are hit in the face with some legitimately scary stuff and way to play right into his hands.

But outside of being an actually scary*, it's an excellent story about female friendship. By a dude, I know, but it's OK. Hendrix does a good job here, writing a friendship that feels like a real friendship and doesn't fall into weird stereotypes. The friendship is really the central part of the story. It's not just anyone's exorcism. It's her best friend's. Right there in the title.

Abby and Gretchen have been friends since elementary school, despite Abby coming from the wrong side of town. But then something happens. The girls are out on the lake with a couple friends when Gretchen goes missing. When they finally find her she's different. She stops caring about schoolwork, hygiene. She can't sleep. She won't eat. And she won't say exactly what's wrong or what happened to her that night. But clearly something has happened and things just go from bad to worse.

I won't say more but there is teen drama and betrayals and of course, the titular exorcism. There's even a strongman exorcist cos sure, why not. But most of the story, until like the last 100 pages or so, is buildup and a lot of it feels like it could be a teen coming-of-age story with no horror in sight.

There's lots of '80s pop culture and camp and this would probably make a super fun movie.

I liked the premise of Horrorstor but thought it started stronger than it ended (though the false doors in Ikea still creep me out). But I feel like Hendrix was able to (for the most part) avoid that problem here. Some of the ending seemed a bit rushed at points, but there were also moments in it I really liked, so other problems were forgiven. This was one of the most fun books I've read so far this year.

Thank you, Sarah, for a copy of this book. And for the kick ass unicorn sticker.

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*For those of you not into horror stuff, it's not on the same level as say a King. It's just more than you might expect.

Title quote from page 10

Hendrix, Grady. My Best Friend's Exorcism. Quirk Books, 2016.

It's not just a job. It's the rest of your life

My last post was about Christmas, so naturally I'm going to review a horror book I read back in October. Perhaps a resolution for next year should be "speed it up with the reviews".*

I finished Horrorstor by Grady Hendrix in early October. It made an excellent Halloween read. Excellent for me as it's got a bit of satire in it and a LOT of horror.

At an Ikea knock-off store called Orsk, strange things seem to be happening at night. Employees arrive in the morning to see the faux-Swedish furniture smashed and foul smelling substances smeared on the sofas. But the security cameras haven't caught anything. Corporate is getting concerned. The manager, Basil, recruits two associates, Amy and Ruth Anne, to stay up and see if they can catch who is damaging the store before corporate's consultants show up the next morning.

Amy is having money trouble. She agrees to stay no only because it means double time, but Basil has promised to help push her transfer request through. Ruth Anne is loyal to the company she she agrees to stay. Trinity believes ghosts are behind the whole thing and wants to perform a seance and capture the whole thing on tap so she can be the next "real-ghost busters" and get a reality TV show. Matt goes along with Trinity cos he's sleeping with her and also has the camera equipment.

And thus we have the set up for a seriously creepy haunted house/furniture superstore tale. There are these strange texts coming from unknown numbers that just say "help". There's a figure that seems to be darting in and out of the maze of fake home scenes. And some of those furniture pieces really do look like torture devices.

I won't go anymore into the plot, lest I spoil anything. I have to say this was a lot scarier than I assumed it would be. It has it's funny parts, with the whole fake Ikea, but that almost works to let your defenses down so when things start going wrong, you don't expect them to go quite SO wrong. As soon as I finished with this book, I simultaneously wanted to run to an Ikea and alternatively never step food in an Ikea again. The thought of those "false" closet doors creeps me out now.

I wanted to pick up a physical copy of this book, since it does have some things like a map of the store and descriptions of some of the Orsk furniture. Overall though, I don't know that it makes a difference whether you get a physical or ecopy of the book. Especially where the physical copy is larger than a trade paperback, and thus is a little more awkward to hold on the subway. However, I did finish the book in about a day, so at least you're not dealing with it's larger size for very long.

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*Not only would this be good cos then my reviews could somewhat fit the season, and I'd actually be talking about a book when it's still fresh in my mind, BUT I wouldn't have to dig through my book suitcase.

As I recently mentioned, we're going to be moving. Which means we need to sell our place. Which means we need it to look neat and not cluttered. And APPARENTLY bookshelves that are double and triple stacked don't look neat. I am also aware that keep books in a suitcase like this is bad for the books. Which is why unless the house is being shown, the suitcase remains out like this. And hopefully we'll be able to store some of this stuff at my mom's while we try to sell this place/buy a new one and they won't have to be in here at all.

Title quote form page 35

Hendrix, Grady. Horrorstor. Quirk Books, 2014.